Roselle Leadership Blog
August 28th, 2023
How to Lead Introverts
Over the past 30 years of my work as an executive coach, I’ve often run into situations where either I’m coaching an extreme introvert, or I have been asked by leaders how to best manage the introverts on their team. Being an introvert myself, I have some insights regarding what folks like me need when being managed by another.
What is an introvert? Using perspective from the folks at the Myers Briggs company, an introvert is someone who tends to need to get quiet and thoughtful and/or to be alone to recharge his or her mental batteries. The need to refresh typically comes from spending time in interaction with others and not having sufficient time to think privately.
In a work setting, introverts can be recognized as the ones in a group who tend to be quietly thoughtful while the extroverts are expressing their perspective. They often get a look on their faces that seems to others to be intense or bored, or perhaps angry, as they think deeply about the topic being discussed. The problem with ‘the look’ that appears on the face of introverts while they are thinking is that others tend to interpret the look—plus their silence—in negative ways.
For example, I once was invited to learn about a new 360-degree instrument that one of my clients wanted their executive coaches to begin using. As I entered the classroom where lunch was being served and the coaches were arriving, I suddenly felt a little shy and held back while I considered what my next step should be. In that moment, a new person from the client came up to me and introduced herself. In a meeting with her later that same year, she recalled that situation and described me as “cool, aloof, and not very confident.” This is what she saw when I thought I was just being shy.
In a recent example, I was talking about managing introverts with a coaching client who is a clear extrovert, and he used the example of trying to generate a conversation with his teenaged daughter—an extreme introvert. In describing a five-hour car ride with her in which he asked a question and then waited for her response, he said, “I waited so long for an answer, I forgot what the question was!”
How can you lead introverts effectively? The suggestions that follow have been gathered over most of my career and are usually effective ways to lead an individual or team of introverts:
- In meetings, ask an open-ended question (“how is the X project going,” or “what help do you need with Y?”) and wait for 10 seconds for them to respond (count slowly in your head). Keep looking at them with an open look on your face (not annoyed) and wait patiently. When you get anything as a response, encourage them with a comment like, “that’s very helpful. Let’s talk more specifically about Z”.
- Wait patiently for a response any time you ask an introvert a question, knowing that they are processing their thoughts silently and thinking about what you just said. Don’t let the look on their face throw you off; it’s usually just the look they get when they are thinking.
- Send out an agenda in advance for every staff or other meeting to give introverts a chance to think about the topics in advance. After the meeting, in which the introverts will usually be relatively quiet, reach out to participants individually to give introverts another shot at sharing their thoughts.
- Draw introverts out during a meeting by asking them specifically an open-ended question and waiting for their response. Work with whatever response you get and ask follow-up questions to make sure they have communicated their thinking fully. Encourage them to share their thinking “so far” even if their thoughts are not fully formed.
- At a happy hour or other social interaction at work, assign each person a task that helps them interact with their colleagues–something like, find three people who share your taste in music, tell at least three colleagues about your last vacation, etc.
- Assess the physical space in the office and ask each person if the layout hinders or helps their interaction with colleagues. For example, a large open space with lots of ambient noise might overwhelm introverts.
- In meetings of all types, start off with each person giving a summary of their challenges and successes in their area. This makes sure everyone speaks a little, not just the extroverts.
- At the beginning of each day, conduct a ‘stand up’ meeting where people gather in one spot to briefly share issues, problems, focus for the day and ask others for help thinking them through. This gets them talking to each other, helping to break the ice for introverts.
- Encourage introverts to attend a Toastmasters or other meeting that helps them get comfortable speaking on a topic without much preparation time.
What can you do if you are an introvert leader? This one is a question that I’ve thought about my whole career and have developed a few techniques to address:
- When you are with your team, peers, or senior leaders, think out loud as much as possible (that is, narrate your thinking), even if only to let them know you ARE thinking. Though your preference is to wait until you have thought things out thoroughly, say something like, “Well, I haven’t come to a conclusion yet, but this is my initial thinking.” Continue to give people an update on your thinking, still making it clear that this is not the final decision.
- Develop a facial expression that is open and relaxed. You can do this by looking in a mirror and continuing to look at yourself until you see a facial expression that is one you would find easy to talk to. Then, close your eyes and feel what your facial muscles are doing to create that relaxed, open facial expression. Practice this in private until you can quickly shift to this expression, and then begin to use it in meetings.
- In meetings with peers and senior leaders, develop a habit of asking open-ended questions early in the meeting. This will establish for you a pattern of participating more actively in meetings. Combine this with your open facial expression and the habit of narrating your thoughts.
The bottom line. You do not need to be an extrovert to lead others, you just need to use a few extroverted techniques throughout the day. And you don’t need to despair over a hopelessly quiet team of introverts, you just need to give them the space and encouragement they need to speak up.
March 23rd, 2023
Navigating the Hardest Leadership Transition
Much has been written about transitions that are the most difficult to navigate over the course of a leader’s career. From my experience, one transition has proven to be the hardest.
To illustrate, within the past couple of months, I have been coaching a young leader who is brilliant technically and mechanically, but he failed when he began supervising others. Another young leader at a different company struggled with this same transition and admitted, “I’m way too quick to solve everyone’s problems and step in with a solution.”
What is this most difficult leadership transition? It is the critically important shift from being “The Answer Guy” to becoming “The Question Guy.” Over my 30-plus years as an executive coach, I have declared more often than any other statement, “You need to stop being the Answer Guy and start becoming the Question Guy!”
Who is the Answer Guy? Most leaders within an organization start their careers with a technical foot in an area like Engineering, Marketing, Human Resources, Operations, Finance, etc., and they become increasingly successful by generating answers to problems that they face. The more consistently effective they are at answering questions, the more quickly they are promoted to become a specialist in their area, and then a lead person, and then a supervisor. How do they continue to receive these promotions? By being the Answer Guy.
Being the Answer Guy becomes the foundation to their formula for career success and the approach continues to be effective right up to the point where they supervise their first direct report. Then, it starts to become a weight around the neck of their career. The weight stays there until either they recognize it and cast it off, or someone helps them realize the reason for the drag on their career progression. This is when the leader must transition to become the Question Guy.
Who is the Question Guy? Well, the Question Guy is the leader who has learned to ask good open-ended questions. What do open-ended questions accomplish for the new leader? When they ask a direct report questions like, “How do you think we should approach this problem?” or “What do you think is causing this bottleneck?”, the response they get helps them recognize where the gaps are in the thinking of their direct report. Once they recognize the gaps, they can help them become more effective problem solvers, thereby fulfilling their most important role as a leader of others—to grow the people on their team.
What stops leaders from leaving the Answer Guy behind like an old article of clothing that no longer fits? They are too familiar and comfortable with the old approach and not at all sure how to be successful with a new approach. Like a floundering person adrift in the ocean, they cling to a familiar anchor, rather than set out in a new direction.
Once they let go of the old anchor, what causes leaders to fail in their transition to the Question Guy? Here are several stumbling blocks:
- Asking the wrong questions. When leaders ask questions like, “Why did you do this that way?” or “Didn’t you see that this approach would lead to disaster?”, these do not elicit dialogue. Instead, they come across as a new way to criticize and blame, and they shut down further thinking and growth in problem-solving.
- Asking the right questions, but then making people feel stupid for their answers. Though open-ended questions usually elicit lengthier responses, which help a leader understand how the direct report is processing and solving a problem, a sarcastic or blaming comment following a response will quickly teach the direct report that this is not a ‘learning experience’.
- Asking an open-ended question, but not listening to the response, and then shifting back to the Answer Guy with the “right answer”. Some leaders learn how to ask “how” and “what” questions, but jump in with the right answer immediately afterwards.
Whether you are new to managing others or a seasoned veteran, you probably could be more effective at being the Question Guy with your direct reports. Very few leaders ever make this transition completely. This is especially true when they are under stressful conditions, as there is a tendency to regress to the Answer Guy in such circumstances. If you’re not sure you have successfully made this transition, ask your direct reports something like, “How am I doing at helping grow your problem-solving skills?” or “What could I do to better help you grow in your career?”…and then listen.
January 16th, 2023
A Time to Coach, a Time to Sever
Recently, I was brought in by another consultant to offer a fresh perspective on a long-term employee who seemed to be struggling in her relationships with her team and her new manager. She and the manager had been peers that were often at odds, and then that peer had become her new boss.
In speaking with Human Resources, it became clear that this individual was very highly respected for her technical problem-solving skills, but frequently lacked interpersonal finesse. She had been managed by a couple of different leaders during her tenure and neither of them were good role models for interpersonal skills.
We decided to administer a couple of personality tests and our online FULLVIEW 360-degree feedback inventory. The ratings and comments from 15 colleagues and her manager indicated that they also recognized her technical expertise, as well as her drive to achieve timely, high-quality results and to consider creative and strategic implications in her solutions. They marked her lowest in the areas of seeking and reflecting on feedback from others, taking comments personally, creating an inspired, energized work environment, and listening deeply to others.
With a summary of these 360-degree feedback results in hand, I then met with the HR leader and the manager of this individual. Based on my experience, my perspective was that these interpersonal issues were usually amenable to coaching, so I was prepared to make that recommendation. However, a few other issues emerged in this conversation that ultimately scuttled the idea of coaching this individual to be more effective in her current role. Instead, the meeting quickly moved toward severing the relationship with her and providing outplacement support.
What happened? The decision to sever the relationship with this employee was based on several factors that were not well reflected in the personality tests and 360-degree feedback. When I analyzed the whole picture of this situation, several other contributing factors were identified. In the decision to coach or to sever, then, these are the five factors that have the most impact:
- Amount of ‘baggage’. This individual had been with the organization more than 20 years and had been promoted primarily because of her technical and problem-solving skills. The 360-degree feedback showed large deficiencies in her interpersonal skills, with others describing her as someone who played favorites, held grudges, pushed her ideas without fully listening to theirs, and often felt that others were out to get her. These behaviors over time piled up into an insurmountable amount of baggage to overcome.
- Relationship with the manager. In her case, her new manager was a terrible choice, in that he did not respect her, felt threatened by her technical problem-solving ability, and had often disagreed with her about how to approach problems in the past. Their relationship was distrustful and antagonistic—not a great way to start a boss-subordinate relationship. Not surprisingly, her manager had rated her 2-3 points lower than most of her peers and direct reports rated her on a 5-point scale.
- Distrust of team members. In my conversation with the HR leader and the manager, they had indicated that some of the people who had been asked to rate her on the 360-degree instrument were afraid of reprisals from her. They reportedly were worried that she would somehow figure out who rated her lower and made the most negative comments. Consequently, they did not participate in the online review. Her manager’s opinion was that, if these folks had completed their ratings, his low scores would not have seemed so out of step with the rest of the raters.
- Previous efforts to change the behaviors. In this situation, there were no previous efforts to change the problematic behaviors of this individual. In other circumstances where I’ve been called in to coach a leader, there have been previous unsuccessful efforts to coach or train new behaviors. I’ve learned over the years that minimal or no lasting results from previous leadership development attempts are usually a sign that further coaching is not the most viable option. In these cases, severing is often the best option.
- The motivation, capacity of the individual. This individual was highly energized about learning and adapting new approaches in her leadership. She was a bit defensive at first about being identified as ‘the problem’ that needed to be fixed, but she quickly came around. Smart and a quick learner, it was clear to her that she became too easily frustrated with certain individuals on her team, as well as with her manager, and she was motivated enough to try new approaches that might be more successful. She possessed both a high level of motivation and the intellectual capacity to learn and apply new skills and perspectives.
All five of these factors should play a part in an organization’s decision to either coach an individual, or to sever their employment. Probably the most important factor, and the one most difficult to impact through coaching, is the individual’s motivation and capacity for change. I’ve tried to work with a low level of these in the past, usually with poor coaching results. If the person has a high level of motivation and capacity for change, however, it is possible to move the needle on the other four factors—sometimes dramatically. But in this case, the combined weight of her past baggage, poor relationship with manager, and distrust by certain key team members scuttled any real chance of success in a coaching engagement. Ultimately, the decision was made to sever her employment.
September 14th, 2022
5 Questions to Answer Before Engaging a Coach
After working with a coaching client of mine over the past year, we decided fresh feedback from her
team members would help illuminate her progress. From individual phone conversations, it became
clear that she had made some noticeable improvement in the coaching but was still falling short in the
critical areas of organization and time management.
Some team member comments noted that, “Keeping things on task at meetings and not getting off on
tangents or overtalking issues is a problem at times, with the cost being running out of time and not
finishing all the agenda items. This can be frustrating to team members who like to see agenda items
completed and meetings end on time.” Since these were specific areas she and I had worked on in our
coaching meetings, it was hard for me to hear these comments.
What did the tests indicate? To figure out why this behavior was still happening, I went back to my
coaching notes and her personality testing from the beginning of the engagement. These tests clearly
described her as outgoing, expressive, warm, and comfortable in social settings, as well as talkative and
confident in groups, trusting, open, and tolerant with people, and interested in the motivations and
needs of others. When her team members described her strengths in my phone call to them, they used
similar words to depict her.
On the test results related to organization and time management, she clearly tested as a trouble
shooter, problem solver style. The upside of such a personality is a high degree of adaptability in solving
problems in technical areas and interpersonal relationships. The downside, however, is usually lack of
formal structure and organized planning—just what the team was experiencing.
So, her personality was closely aligned with her perceived strengths and her development areas, which
raised the broader question in my mind: to what extent can executive coaching impact an individual’s
behavior, given the limitations of their underlying personality? This insight led me to five questions that
individuals and organizations must answer before moving ahead with a coaching engagement.
The Five Questions:
How do the individual’s personality and motivations as measured by standard assessments fit with
the perceived weaknesses in their leadership approach? That is, do the personality tests adequately
‘explain’ the problematic behaviors that others identify? In most coaching engagements, the personality
tests do not explain the person’s weaknesses fully, which helps us focus in our work together on the gap
between personality and observed behaviors. We typically look at underlying faulty beliefs and
inadequate leadership skills to explain this gap.
How committed is the leader being coached to making the desired changes? This is always a bit
difficult to ascertain fully on the front end, but I ask questions in my first contact with a potential
coaching participant to illuminate what they think they need to work on to be even more effective in
their role. Based on their answers, I determine whether to recommend going forward with coaching. In
her situation, she seemed highly motivated and committed to growing in her leadership effectiveness,
so I recommended moving ahead.
What is the likelihood of change in the desired direction and what degree of change is acceptable?
What are the organization and the individual saying a successful coaching result should look like, and
how probable is this degree of change, given the individual’s personality, motivation to change, and
intelligence? In this coaching engagement, I believed on the front end that the individual’s intelligence
and motivation to change could overcome any personality traits that might keep her mired in her old
approach. As in most cases, the organization was not looking to fix a fundamental flaw but, rather,
hoped for changes that would result in a less frustrated team.
How much of the undesirable behavior is caused by structural issues around the person (manager,
team composition, organizational rules), which are not in their control? Part of the issue in the case
outlined here is that this executive’s team was geographically distant and culturally different,
representing five distinct countries of origin (including hers) and four time zones. To further complicate
the situation, her manager’s requests often were unpredictable and last-minute, and her administrative
support person was not high organized or proactive in his approach. Both people tended to make her
look even more disorganized.
Will the likely benefit of the changed behaviors be worth the cost of the coaching? This is the bottomline question. Most organizations invest in coaching to help high potential leaders be positioned for promotion to larger roles, or to help create even greater effectiveness for a high value leader. The latter was the case for this female leader in our example. Because a successful coaching engagement is always the result of the interaction between the individual, their organization, and my approach, it is difficult to make guarantees on the front end.
May 23rd, 2022
5 Truths about Organizational Culture
One of my manufacturing clients recently experienced the loss of two individuals as a direct result of the organization’s culture. One was a high potential Black engineer, and the other was a senior executive reporting to the CEO. In both cases, they described in their exit interviews how the existing culture felt very closed to their diverse perspective and approach to work. The culture had, from their perspective, spit them out as too different.
This caused my client to take a hard look through surveys, focus groups, and soul searching for the truth about their culture. They recognized that the culture senior leaders thought they had created was not consistent with some employees’ everyday experiences. There was a gap between their perception and the reality of the culture, which often leads to employee cynicism. Every organization has a culture, and it is built from shared beliefs, expectations, vision, practices, and behaviors. At the very core of every culture are the foundational values from which core beliefs develop, which then determine accepted behaviors and practices. Over time, employees develop a shared understanding of the culture. Sometimes, as with my manufacturing client, the shared culture is so tightly woven that it becomes closed to new values and behaviors.
Leadership and culture. Cultures are birthed from key leaders who drive specific values and behaviors. They recruit and hire people who exhibit the values, develop onboarding and training programs to more deeply impart and nurture the values, and promote new leaders based on how well they demonstrate the values and related behaviors.
An established culture shows how people in the workplace should behave. A positive, healthy culture can help employees pursue and reach their goals. A great culture typically leads to improved performance, while a dysfunctional culture can undermine the organization’s current and future success.
Culture and change. When an organization’s culture is battered by circumstances in the marketplace or broader society, it must be capable of adapting to the changes and assimilating new values and ideas into the foundational fabric. Leaders must step forward and help define a new combination of values and behaviors that retain the best of the core values and blend new ones into the cultural fabric.
We have all experienced powerful marketplace and societal forces in the past three years that have rocked organizations at their core and illuminated the need for internal culture changes. Being headquartered in Minneapolis, I was keenly aware of the dramatic impact on my clients and other companies by the death of George Floyd and subsequent demonstrations. These events have led my clients to look more closely and train employees more specifically in the values of diversity, equity, and inclusion. This dramatic external societal change set in motion internal questions, dialogue, and initiatives that have led to changes in cultural values and beliefs.
Moreover, the lockdowns, mandates, and illness brought about by the COVID pandemic has impacted established cultures, as well. Cultures that put high value on in-person meetings to build and retain relationships were forced to look seriously at behaviors that were difficult or impossible to practice in the ‘new normal’. Teamwork, camaraderie, and communication were among the values most negatively impacted initially by working virtually. While this pandemic has not, for most of my clients, changed their fundamental values, it has changed the behaviors and practices needed to live many of their values.
These unanticipated external factors help us to understand that even the most high-performance and healthy cultures must adapt when a change tsunami occurs. This is when leadership is especially important in guiding the adaptations necessary in the face of change.
With these perspectives as backdrop, I suggest five truths about culture that are critical to understanding and functioning in the marketplace today:
- Culture is founded on shared values. Often identified and described by early leaders, these values must then be communicated clearly to employees and accepted by them.
- Values become accepted once they are understood deeply. Just using words to describe values is not sufficient; rather, organizations must ensure that every employee understands what the value name means, and which behaviors would illustrate each value. Some organizations call these behavioral attributes.
- Underlying values become evident through supportive systems and behaviors. In the same way that 360-degree feedback instruments typically look at core competencies and specific behaviors that provide evidence for the competence, organizational values need related behaviors, beliefs, and assumptions that provide evidence of the value. If an organization characterizes collaboration as a core value, for example, then leaders must also identify behaviors that illustrate a collaborative mindset, be able to observe these behaviors day to day, and utilize reward systems that encourage the behaviors.
- Diversity, equity, and inclusion are values. Recently, many organizations have brought in DEI consultants and trainers. These kinds of training initiatives need to emphasize that diversity, equity, and inclusion must be imbedded as shared cultural values, not just buzzwords. Employees must learn or relearn behaviors that show others there exist shared values related to diversity, equity, and inclusion.
- Successful cultures require adaptation to new values, behaviors. Even the most effective, high-performance cultures encounter situations where they must re-evaluate and adapt. This adaptability is key to cultures continuing to be successful, as are feedback mechanisms to ensure behaviors are aligned with their values. Healthy organizations seek feedback from their employees to ensure that behaviors are aligned with values. Culture change requires deliberate work to understand the values that a culture is currently supporting through existing behaviors and systems, and then determine how to intentionally change the values through new behaviors and reward systems.
January 11th, 2022
5 Components of Optimal Hybrid Work
As my client companies are continuing to determine what the future should be regarding the work from home or work from the office question, the primary considerations revolve around productivity, cost, and retention of talent. Most are leaning toward a hybrid of flexible time at the office and home.
It seems that, due to the pandemic lockdowns when professionals were working primarily from home, flexibility and freedom are now keenly important to current and potential employees. Consequently, this has become a key concern for employers when seeking to attract and retain talent.
The top reasons employees give for wanting a hybrid work schedule are usually these:
Flexible schedules
Being able to choose when they work in a 24-hour day to maximize their productive energy and handle other life responsibilities is highly desirable to most. This does not mean, and should not mean, that they work constantly, with no clear differentiation between work and personal time. Rather, it means that work will likely be completed in a much more individualized manner. As increasing numbers of companies adopt hybrid working approaches, flexibility in where and when people work will become the norm, and therefore the expectation of most workers.
Reduced commuting time, expense
For many people, commuting to and from the office during morning and evening rush hours can be the most stressful parts of the day. A hybrid model, working at times from home and other times from the office, as well as choosing commute times to the office that are outside the times of most traffic, will greatly reduce the stress of commuting. It will likely also save money, with gas prices ever increasing, due to reduced mileage on the family car or reduced costs for parking or train and bus options.
Reduced wardrobe wear and tear
Being able to wear lounge pants, shorts, or jeans when working from home helps save money on replacement clothing over the course of the year. Saving the clothes that need to be laundered and dry-cleaned for in-office hours helps protect the budget. And eating lunch at home, rather than near the office, is an additional savings.
The optimal arrangement. The question top of mind for employers is how to best arrange the working structure for their employees going forward, now that they have tasted working from home and found that it has several advantages. What I hear and read from organizations is that most are seeking to create a structure that continues to keep employees protected from COVID variations, utilizes office space for at least a couple of days a week, ensures that the work is getting done on a timely basis, and appeals to their top talent.
There appears to be a good level of agreement that the optimal arrangement going forward should include some or all these components:
- Flexible schedule for in-office time. Working from home fulltime, as we discovered during the pandemic lockdowns, is not optimal for psychological health. Too many people working from home reported feeling disconnected and isolated, as well as finding it difficult to create boundaries between work and home duties. Consequently, a hybrid of home and office work that is worked out flexibly will likely contribute to higher levels of productivity than just home or just office work time.
- Technology for a seamless home experience.Organizations should budget for home office supplies, furniture, and equipment to ensure an enterprise-grade network technology experience. There is nothing more frustrating than a network that cuts out, distorts the audio, freezes the visual, or reboots during an important Teams or Zoom meeting. This could include an internal audit of how employees use their in-home technology, what works well for them, and what training could help create a more seamless experience. This also means that internal IT leaders must provide adequate access to the network/cloud applications and ensure security.
- Regular manager check-ins. Employees need to feel connected, and one way to do that is to make sure that manager-employee touch-base meetings continue to be scheduled weekly or biweekly. This can be in-person when both are in the office, or virtually.
- Virtual meeting recharge. Even before the pandemic when employees worked 100 percent at the office, many reported needing a break from the relentless time pressure of back-to-back meetings. This gets multiplied when the meetings are continuous and virtual, with no chance to focus farther away than the computer screen or to walk down the hall to get to the next meeting. Smart employers and employees will work out margin between meetings, as well as breaks during the day to recharge.
- Support for employee health and engagement. Encourage employees to get involved in fitness programs, take stress management seriously, and self-monitor their addictive tendencies like alcohol use and over-eating. Continuing to offer happy hours, holiday parties, and social gatherings in-person or virtual to build camaraderie can help health and engagement, too.
October 19th, 2021
How to Return to Work, Retain Your Best Talent
As my clients begin to bring their employees back to work after required COVID lockdowns, they are choosing a variety of strategies. Additionally, through my network of contacts across the Twin Cities business community, I am aware of a couple of other approaches. There may additional issues as organizations decide how to respond to the Biden Administration’s vaccine mandate, but this is unclear as I write this.
Current reality. What is clear from the data points I have gathered is that there is no single approach that all companies will utilize over the next month or so as remote employees return to their work physical location. Here is the range of approaches, from least to most restrictive:
- Employees who choose to do so may return to work and must wear a mask upon entering the building but may remove it when in meetings or at their workspace. A few days a week, they can continue to work at home.
- Employees who choose to do so may return to their physical workspaces and must wear a mask and social distance in meetings. The others may continue to work remotely.
- All employees must return to their physical workspaces and wear a mask/social distance, and they are encouraged to get a vaccine.
- All employees must return to their physical workspaces, be vaccinated, and wear a mask/social distance in the office.
From what I have read and heard about organizations outside my client list, there are no additional options that other States and companies are utilizing as their employees return to work. For example, there may still be organizations requiring their employees to continue to work from home exclusively, with no return-to-work plan in place. Consequently, to the best of my knowledge, these four options are being employed across the U.S. as companies bring people back into their physical buildings.
The big question. The concern of most employees seems to be how they will make this transition back to work. That’s the biggest question on most of their minds—how will I make this reverse change successfully? It’s actually the same concern, but the opposite of what they faced in March of 2020.
Last year, these same people found themselves suddenly at home sharing a single office with a spouse and trying to handle children who were home from schools that had shut down. This was a major physical conversion and huge psychological shift for most of them. They were forced to learn how to use Zoom or Team technology and find a space in their homes where the background was suitable for a business meeting. For most people, this happened with little or no notice as States mandated shutdowns.
The big problem. In situations where your best talent feel like they are not allowed to problem solve their own solutions, they tend to look at the marketplace and find a more suitable employer. And, since employers are using one of the approaches we just identified, these talented individuals can easily find a different employer that is approaching this question more in line with their personal thinking and values.
A suggested solution. Having heard multiple stories already concerning the level of stress people are experiencing regarding possible vaccine requirements and the new mandates to return to work physically, and knowing that, for many, the choice they must make is a difficult one, I have a suggestion for organizations that are working their way through this question:
Don’t use a ‘one size fits all’ solution that might force your best talent to look elsewhere. Choose an approach that allows some individual freedom of choice so that your top performers can feel good about staying.
In the four current reality examples I just noted, the “all employees must return to their physical workspaces, be vaccinated, and wear a mask/social distance” is the one that seems to be causing the most angst. Why? Because there exists mixed messaging on the efficacy of masks, strong opinions about how these experimental biological agents (vaccines) are made, confusion about why there are breakthrough variants of COVID infection even with a vaccine, and the relatively low level of death from this corona virus. These factors make thinking individuals wonder what is best for them and their families.
As a parallel example, I’m also aware that many parents are enrolling their children in private schools that do not advocate the more rigid mask/vaccine rules of public schools, because they want to determine what is best for their children, not be told what is best.
The bottom line. Choose thoughtfully how your organization brings its talent back to work. Rather than a top-down decision, why not hold meetings in which this is discussed openly? Decide which approach meets your State’s guidelines and addresses the needs of most of your employees, especially your best talent that you need to retain.
June 21st, 2021
4 Ways to Get Unstuck
About 10 years ago, I coached an executive who in his earlier years was a member of the German national hang-gliding team. I learned about his life history as part of our introductory conversation, and I expressed my interest in learning more about his hang-gliding experience.
Enthusiastically, he described how each competitor would jump from the highest point, and then try to stay aloft. The winner was that person who could glide for the longest time. He also shared his winning strategy with me: to aim for those parts of the landscape where he would most likely get a thermal ‘lift’ that would propel him higher and keep him aloft longer. It was fascinating.
Since then, I have often used this example as a metaphor for looking for spots that would give a leader some ‘lift’ out of the doldrums and carry them to their next goal. During these COVID-related shutdowns and mandates, several of my coaching clients are much in need of some lift to carry them and their team upward and forward. They express frustration and discouragement with the ‘new normal’ in their workplaces.
One in particular has lost several key individuals during this time of limbo and worries how she will be able to keep her team of directors in place. Another expressed concern about how he will keep his own sense of sanity in the uncertainty.
I shared this hang-gliding image with them and asked them to consider how they could use the four-point approach, below, to begin to move forward again:
- Focus on the big-picture goal, not the temporary setbacks. In your work and life, it is so easy to lose big-picture focus and, instead, get stuck in the obstacles holding you back. Putting your focus on the immovableness of your barriers gives them more power over you. Knowing your big picture goal–your purpose in your work and life–on the other hand, can help lift you up over these obstructions.
- Identify those parts of your work and life that give you the most lift. Even in the darkest moments you face, there are glimmers of hope that break through the clouds. Where are the ‘wins’ in your work, the situations that bring you laughter and satisfaction? Who are the people in your family and neighborhood that love you the most and appreciate you? What activities give you the most joy in your life? Knowing the source of your joy is central to living and leading wholeheartedly.
- Figure out how to steer toward these ‘thermals’. Once you identify these life-giving aspects of your work and life, develop a strategy for leveraging them further. Doing so will provide increased energy and encouragement to the other activities that you must also accomplish. Focus on these thermals, determine how to spend more time in these activities and with these people, and be thankful for them during this stuck period. In my first book, Vital Truths (2002), I suggested starting off your day speaking out loud your thankfulness for specific people, situations, and activities in your life, and then doing the same thing at the end of your day to create a “thankfulness sandwich” every day.
- Recalibrate what you can reasonably expect to accomplish. Be kind to yourself as a leader and to your team members by recalibrating what can be done in the ‘new normal’. Working virtually, for example, means that it is more difficult to spontaneously visit a coworker’s office to discuss an issue, but you will spend less time getting to meetings that are across the building or campus in which you work, since they are now only a click away. Give yourself grace for those tasks you are unable to accomplish, be assertive with your leaders about what you are now able to get done and renegotiate expectations where possible.
Though your circumstances may not change around you, you can change the inner you in the circumstances to create more energy and lift around and through them.
February 18th, 2021
6 Ways to Keep Virtual Meetings Engaging
As with most working professionals, my approach to providing executive coaching and leadership training has changed dramatically since the beginning of the COVID lockdowns. For example, in March of 2020, my monthly training sessions for one client went from in person to Zoom with the help of a couple of Human Resources folks familiar with the technology. I travelled to their headquarters, made my masked way to the same training room in which I had delivered the first two sessions in person, and facilitated the Zoom training.
The level of engagement in the first virtual session was not very high, so we worked on other ways to create engagement in the subsequent sessions. From that experience and reading on the subject, I have synthesized these six ways to keep Zoom meetings engaging.
Technology. After installing the Zoom and Teams apps on my laptop and phone, I had to decide which one of these would be easiest to use for scheduling and conducting the meetings? I noticed that the camera on my phone created a relatively ‘tight’ shot of my head and background, whereas the laptop captured more of the room behind me. Did I want the focus to be primarily on my face, or did I want to send a message by what other folks on the call could see of my office in the background? To make it more casual with my team, for example, would it be better to position my phone/laptop on a stand so that the background would include my fireplace and an overstuffed chair? Make sure your technology of choice is charged fully before you begin, and some would recommend restarting your device in advance of a meeting, to make sure it does not decide to update in the middle of the call.
Environment. Since most of us are sheltered in place and working from home, it is important to recognize that the camera and audio for Zoom captures a great deal of ambient noise from the environment in which we are sitting. While there are electronic devices you can purchase to attenuate this noise, there is much you can do in advance to minimize the distractions on these calls. For example, recognize that turning the volume down on your computer, disconnecting a landline in the room that might decide to ring, and making sure your kids, grandkids, parrot, and dog are far enough away from you should eliminate 90 percent of the unexpected noise. Do not eat food on the calls, unless you have scheduled a virtual lunch.
Eye contact. When using virtual meeting technology, one question that many people have not considered is where they should look to make the communication as ‘real’ as possible. For in-person coaching or training, for example, I always look people in the eye as we talk to make sure the connection is there. Put people in front of a screen, however, and I notice that they look down, sideways, and every direction except into the camera! As much as possible, it is important to remember to look directly into the camera eye, rather than at the person’s image on your screen. Place your webcam or laptop/phone camera eye at your own eye level and just above the screen you are viewing. When you lean into the camera to make a point, look at the camera eye, not the person’s face on the screen.
Interaction. For Zoom in particular, there are various methods at your disposal for creating the kind of interaction you might have in an in-person team meeting. During my training sessions with a group of 20 attending virtually, we used the function that allows you to create breakout rooms in which small groups of participants can discuss the questions you raise, and then come back to the full group to discuss themes. These breakout rooms can be created manually or automatically, and the leader can sit in on some or all of them during the discussion time. Other options you could employ include a whiteboard function, so that instead of looking at your face the whole time, they can share ideas where others can see them and edit. The software also includes the capacity to vote on issues or take a poll in real time. Again, you could do this with a show of hands, but a different medium can increase interaction.
Visuals. Since the main visual in most virtual communication is your face, make sure it is lighted well. That is, do not sit so that a window with bright sunshine is directly behind you, or talk from a dark corner of your office or living room. Make sure people can make eye contact. One way to divert the attention from your face to another perhaps more interesting visual is to incorporate PowerPoint or video in your discussion. These have functioned very effectively in my virtual training sessions, and they could also add engagement to a one-on-one call. Having people follow along on a pdf document that you have sent them in advance can add visual interest. One individual I talked with recently used a virtual background that placed her in different geographic locations as we talked, thereby generating visual interest. The only caution here is to not pick backgrounds that will distract from the interaction and derail the discussion.
Variety. Often referred to as the spice of life, adding surprises and variety to your communication helps to create greater engagement. Examples of this include: asking a pop question to get them thinking, inserting a funny slide in your PowerPoint presentation, putting up a quick poll for participants to answer virtually, or assigning the role of meeting leader to each team member on a rotating basis so the focus shifts from you. For fun, you might schedule ‘dress up’ day once a month where people dress more like they would in the office, rather than how they dress most days working from home. I have done this with some coaching meetings and most client calls. It helps you be more business focused when you are dressed for it!
December 17th, 2020
4 Ways to Develop Leadership Vision
When I last visited my ophthalmologist for a checkup, I discovered that my new contact lens prescription was lower in both eyes. To my delight, I realized that my vision is improving!
This is a big deal to me, because I still remember the fear I experienced in 2nd grade when my eyes became dramatically more near-sighted every six months. Eventually, my vision was reduced to legally blind, without glasses or contacts. I discovered then how important vision is, especially to those like me with limited vision or blindness.
In working with various organizations and their leaders over the past 30 years, I have learned anew how important vision is. Proverbs 29:18 says “Where there is no vision, the people decay.” This is true in every organization.
What is vision? Here is my definition:
Leadership vision is the capacity to accurately see the current situation of the organization, to create, through collaboration, a picture of an inspiring future state, and to develop a strategy to achieve it, with the input and commitment of the team.
I wear mono-vision contacts, where one eye is corrected to see close and the other is corrected to see far away. Seeing near and far is a core piece of leadership vision. In addition, vision includes inspiring others in a collaborative process of creating the vision and executing on the strategy to achieve it.
How can you develop it? While it is true that leadership vision is a relatively rare competence within most organizations, it can be developed. Here is an approach any leader can employ:
- Leverage people on your team and in your organization who have a high degree of vision. No matter where you are in your organization or what size it is, you can identify and leverage people around you who seem to have a greater ability to think strategically. There are personality tests and strengths assessments that can help you do this, but even your day-to-day observations and discussions with others in your organization can easily illuminate those who more naturally think in future-oriented, blue-sky, visionary ways.
- Pull yourself out of day-to-day task execution. The gap in strategic thinking often comes out in the results of my 360-degree feedback assessment that I use on the front end of executive coaching. Typically, people who are low on strategic, visionary thinking on their 360 results are often very strong at planning and executing tasks. As I like to say, “nobody gets everything and everybody has flat sides” in their competencies. Another truth in leadership competence is that people tend to spend most time where they are most comfortable. This means that if you are someone who is highly effective at day-to-day tasks, your schedule probably gets filled with these, leaving little or no time to focus on strategic planning. So, the more you continue to let yourself get stuck in the detailed tasks that you love doing, the less effective you will ever be at strategy and vision.
- Ask future-oriented, mission-based questions. A simple way to build your vision muscle is to ask questions with your team, peers, and boss that get at underlying issues and future direction. For example, instead of asking, “What are the tasks we still need to accomplish and how will we get them done?” ask this kind of question, “Why are we moving in this direction, how does it fit our mission, and what are we hoping to achieve in the next 3-5 years?” All three of these kinds of questions address the big picture. It is not necessary for you to have the answers to these questions. You simply need to raise them and two things will happen: others will view you as increasingly visionary in your orientation, and those around you who are more highly competent at strategic/visionary thinking will be encouraged to weigh in. From their ideas–and your own–you can then form a vision and strategy to direct your planning and execution skills.
- Educate yourself on how recognized visionary leaders think. A number of books written in the past 5-10 years, as well as Harvard Business Review articles and various online white papers can provide examples of how visionary leaders approach problems they face. You do not need to be Steve Jobs to be viewed as visionary. Attending online and in-person conferences in your field often provide ideas you can bring back to your team to help spur their vision and strategy. The specific ideas and solutions they share might not be helpful to you, but their thinking process in developing vision and strategy can give you new ideas.
Use these four components to help you develop and apply your vision to your organization.
August 18th, 2020
Cowbird Leadership
Summer in Minnesota always brings a few surprises, and this year, I encountered a cowbird for the first time. These birds are about the size of an oriole (a cousin), with the male being solid charcoal gray with a dark brown head, while the female is solid light brown.
One day, I noticed eggs in a finch nest on the side door of my garage, as well as in a cardinal nest in the hanging fern on the front porch. The finch nest contained three small, blue-green eggs and two larger eggs that were white and mottled brown. Since I’d never seen this before, I checked and discovered that cowbirds are parasites who don’t build their own nests, but, instead, lay their eggs in the nests of other birds.
Over the course of hatching, the finch eggs disappeared until only the cowbird eggs remained. (I learned that the female cowbird often removes the eggs of the host bird to make room for hers). The hatched cowbirds were eventually too large for the finch to feed, so that both chicks died. The cardinal abandoned her cowbird egg, and it never hatched.
What does this have to do with leadership? Simply that the cowbird provides a helpful metaphor to describe the ‘parasitic’ behaviors of leaders I have encountered over the past 30 years. Cowbird leaders display these types of toxic behaviors:
- Undermine the ideas of others to make room for their own
- Assign a pet task to a team that has no buy-in, and, consequently, no follow through
- Generate an ‘egg’ of an idea, but then leave it to others to plan and execute
- Assign a big idea to a team that is too small in skillset and capacity to deliver
- Blame the failure of their idea on those who did not properly carry it out
Cowbird leaders are distrusted and sometimes despised by their team and peers. They often lack the emotional intelligence to recognize how their self-focus and lack of collaboration undermine relationships and results. They do not realize how their drive to promote their own ideas actually pushes out of consideration some potentially great ideas.
If, with some introspection, you discover that you sometimes display cowbird leader behaviors, here are three approaches you can develop as new habits:
- Be open to explore new ideas, regardless of who generates them. Everyone likes to have their ideas considered and, periodically, put into action.
- Work collaboratively with your team to create buy-in and follow through on your ideas. That way, they will not feel like an idea has been dumped on them, and you are more likely to get the result you seek.
- Be conscious of the capabilities of your team(s) and work jointly to clearly communicate expectations and develop a strategy for execution. Sometimes, your team will not be capable, by itself, of bringing your idea to successful completion.
- Make certain the team has sufficient resources to get the job done. One key to fruitful execution is to ensure that the team has tools, funding, decision-making clarity, and senior leader support.
The bottom line: take responsibility to see your own ideas all the way through to implementation, delegating to and overseeing others on the way. Don’t be a cowbird leader!
July 6th, 2020
4 Responses to a Bully Boss
In talking with a friend recently, she described a meeting she had with her boss that led to her resignation. It was not the first time she had such an encounter. In this meeting with her boss, he called her work attitude poor, accused her of not submitting to his authority, and blamed her for the problems the organization had been experiencing since she had first begun working there. His tone was critical, judgmental, and accusatory; he yelled at her and slammed his hands down on the desk. She was deeply shaken by the experience.
In responding to her upset, I confirmed that her boss was a bully. Though her boss was small in stature and usually affable and soft-spoken, he was the Jekyll-Hyde type whose emotions overpowered him when circumstances pushed his buttons. On the inside, he was actually frustrated, angry, and afraid.
The difference between a bully boss and one who is just tough and demanding is that tough bosses treat people the same. A bully boss, on the other hand, targets only one or a few victims. Bullies tend to pick on people who, in their minds, pose a threat to them. Their victims, in fact, are often smart, competent, and self-assured, and they may also be highly effective at collaboration and team orientation—something the bully boss typically is not. Bullies often go after employees who are liked by their supervisors and praised for their work. Bullies typically have poor coping skills, and they mask their insecurities by victimizing others. Bully bosses often pick victims who have strong morals and integrity, or whose values conflict with those of the bully. As happened with my friend, bully bosses often target those who are new to an organization.
Over the years as an organizational psychologist, I have encountered bully bosses, and they typically display behaviors like these:
- Question commitment, adequacy. Bully bosses disparage opinions and ideas suggested by their victim. They blame victims for work issues and take credit themselves for successes.
- Undermine projects, work success. They set victims up for failure, withhold essential information, micromanage in ways that undercut, and interfere with the success of assignments.
- Gossip. Bully bosses will go to great lengths to paint their victims in a bad light. Sometimes, they pretend to be a concerned ‘friend’ who wants to help the victim through a situation, but then they use the information against the person, or purposely lie to damage their reputation.
- Verbal abuse and intimidation. They humiliate their victims in front of others. They shout, swear, unfairly criticize, make sarcastic remarks, threaten, berate, and ridicule.
What options do you have if yours is a Bully Boss? Here are four ways you might respond:
Go along to get along. This approach is passive and simply acquiesces to the bullying behavior. In the short term, this approach seems to work, because it typically does not inflame situations so that they escalate. However, going along to get along usually does nothing to curtail or end the behavior, and it provides the bully with the confirmation that he/she is superior to the victim.
Directly fight against the behavior. Giving back in kind could, at first, seem to end the bullying behavior, since people usually do not stand up to bully bosses and this response momentarily throws them off. However, this feels like a “test of strength” to the bully boss, who will most likely amp up his/her response to win the fight and re-establish dominance.
Ignore the behavior to extinguish it. This is an approach that often works with children who exhibit bad behavior; instead of calling attention to it, just ignore it and reinforce more desirable behaviors. It also involves doing work-arounds to avoid situations in which the boss most often becomes a bully. This approach may seem very similar to the “going along” strategy, but the difference is that the victim is actively working to snuff out the bullying behavior by not giving the bully the reaction he/she wants.
Assertively stand up for yourself. The victim telling the bully boss their behavior is “bullying” and stating that this approach is not acceptable is the first step in this approach. Continuing to name behaviors as bullying and involving others in power (HR, the boss’s superior, the Board) to assess the behavior as bullying can lead to the person changing his/her approach (perhaps with help from an external coach), being limited in scope of leadership responsibility, or leaving the organization. Clearly, the best long-term strategy is to assertively respond to the bulling behavior. As indicated, this often requires the support and intervention of others in the organization who wield power.
May 31st, 2020
6 Permanent Changes Post-COVID
The Wuhan Corona virus has caused world-wide fear, death, illness, and economic destruction in a way that no other virus ever has. While I do not claim to be a futurist, I have observed some trends that will now impact leaders across wide swaths of industry, including public, private sector, and non-profit. These six trends–dramatically amplified by this virus–have become solidly etched into the minds of Americans in a way that has created a permanent change in their expectations going forward:
Skepticism toward Experts. Throughout this virus pandemic, the experts have been worse than meteorologists or fortune tellers at predicting the future. It has become apparent these ‘experts’ were only knowledgeable in the data related to their previous experience, but were terribly wrong at extrapolating the unknown. For some reason (personal, political?), the experts from universities, US government health agencies, and the World Health Organization seemed to need to gin up the most horrific possibilities in their predictive model assumptions. A few weeks before the lockdown, for example, when ‘experts’ were predicting several million deaths in the US alone, I was checking data on the CDC website for reported new cases of the Wuhan virus. I could see even then that the number of new cases peaked, and then began to decline. Current data on the CDC website indicates a slow decline in new cases has continued since the first week in April. The experts, though they may have been well-intentioned, failed with any degree of accuracy to project the behavior of this virus, even after there were a couple of months of data from the US and other countries on which to base their predictions. And now the question is, why can’t the experts agree on the usefulness of treatments like Hydroxychloroquine or Remdesivir? For people who face the choice of ‘dying or trying’, why can’t experts agree on a course of action to save lives? Going forward, this skepticism of experts will be permanent.
Demand for Delivery/Drive-thru/Curbside Service. For many, eating at home is preferable to getting dressed and heading out to wait in line at a restaurant or coffee shop. The main motivation for going out for most people is to have someone else cook your food, mix a fancy drink, or prepare your favorite latte. In the past, there have been few options, other than drive-thru coffee or fast food. But now, having been given the options of drive-thru, online ordering, home delivery, and curbside pickup, the need to change out of lounge pants and go to a restaurant has been altered permanently. Oh, there will still be special occasions when you want to hang out with friends or family over dinner at a restaurant, or meet new people at a club, but the pattern will be forever changed.
Preference for Online Purchases. It doesn’t take a police detective to notice the vastly larger number of UPS, FedEx, USP, and Prime trucks on the road these days. Some segments of the population were already doing most of their shopping online, but the difficulty getting into brick and mortar stores since the lockdown, the requirement of stores like Costco to wear masks, the long lines at some stores to be allowed in, and the lack of basic necessities on the shelves have all led many more consumers to shop online. Now that consumers have been shaped into this online shopping behavior for a few months, they will never return to their old shopping habits—another permanent change, due to the coronavirus.
Resistance of Authority. Citizens of all states affected by the lockdowns with directives to ‘shelter in place’ stayed home initially, closed their ‘non-essential’ businesses, refrained from going into work in ‘essential’ industries, and dutifully donned protective gear to help ‘flatten the curve’ of the virus spread. Based on the available data, it appears these measures have helped avoid the overcrowding of hospitals and clinics that happened in Germany and China. As the curve of new infections flattened and citizens realized that hospitals would not be overwhelmed with patients needing ventilators, the new scourge for countries in lockdown became the subsequent economic decimation. People logically asked why businesses were still closed when the original purpose of the shutdown—to protect hospitals and clinics from being overwhelmed—was achieved. They began to have their “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore” moments. They began to defy over-reaching authority to meet with friends and family, take walks, visit parks and beaches with their children, and resist the orders of their mayors and governors. And then, they started to get arrested and put in jail for resisting what seemed to them to be capricious use of power. Citizens being compliant in the face of authoritarian action is a thing of the past; the new norm will be to question those in authority.
Work from Home. The rules for social distancing and the idea of essential versus non-essential industries have resulted in many more people working from home. While telecommuting has been a trend for a number of years, it really became a thing the past several months. Though many workers—especially those with small children at home who were barred from attend daycare or school—have found working from home to be extremely distracting, the flexibility of sometimes going into the office and sometimes being at home is a permanent change that an increasing number of workers will expect, even demand going forward.
Choice of Telemedicine. A few days ago, I scheduled an appointment with my GP and had my first telemedicine experience. Instead of waiting in the lobby with a number of people who suffered from a variety of flu/cold symptoms and possibly contagious skin diseases, I sat at home in my drawstring pants and chatted on the phone about my concern. Far different from the typical office visit, my doctor was 5 minutes early for the phone call, took all the time I needed without a sense of being rushed, and followed through on the next step of treatment while we were talking. Clinics will need to expand their telemedicine options going forward, as the old model has permanently changed.
Leaders at all levels and in all industries need to be aware of and decide how to respond to these permanent, Post-COVID changes.
March 31st, 2020
3 Leadership Lessons from the Covid-19 Response
No one that I’ve read or heard in the media, from the World Health Organization to TV pundits, seems to disagree that the Covid-19 virus that originated in Wuhan, China is a pandemic. In less than 4 months, it had spread to almost every country in the world.
This corona virus has terrified individuals, governments, businesses, and stock markets across the globe. Based on the lines of crazed, masked shoppers inside and outside of major big box retailers scooping up toilet paper, disinfectant, and bottled water, the fear of this virus is akin to the bubonic plague. This bubonic virus, spread by fleas, resulted in the deaths of 30% of all Europeans in the late 1300’s (recall the movie, Search for the Holy Grail, “Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!”).
Based on the data available as of the writing of this article–and assuming the data are accurate–Covid-19 has claimed lives of those who contract it ranging from 12% in Italy, 5% in places like China, France, and the UK, and 1% in the United States and South Korea. What is the comparison with the percentage of deaths in the US every year from seasonal influenza? Well, that is about .1%, or roughly one tenth the rate for Covid-19. This is a certainly a serious pandemic, yet 99 percent of those infected eventually recover.
In the midst of the global reaction to this illness, we have seen a range of responses from global leaders as the pandemic crossed their borders. What best practices can we glean from the actions of these leaders? Here are three leadership lessons from the Covid-19 response.
Set Aside Personal/Political Agendas. In late January, when other countries would have been helped by the “heads up”, reports started to emerge that Chinese authorities may have delayed reporting the outbreak purposely, and then downplayed and covered up what they knew. This included restraining a doctor who tried to warn colleagues about the virus. China’s actions early on may have unintentionally postponed the global response to a deadly pathogen and allowed it to spread further. According to a January 29 report in the New England Journal of Medicine, by authors from the Chinese CDC, there were already health care workers infected in early January, which is evidence of human to human transmission. But the public was not informed about this situation until January 18. People were still being told there was no strong evidence of human-to-human transmission. In the same article, there’s other evidence that human-to-human transmission was occurring already in December.
Meanwhile, in Italy, during the first week of March, officials decided to lock down and quarantine 16 million people to fight the disease after it had been allowed to ravage Italians unabated for six weeks. The quarantine threatened to put those who disobey in jail for 3 months. What were their reasons in Italy, which has the worst death toll percentage, to not respond for six weeks, and then suddenly drop the quarantine curtain around massive population groups? In a shame/honor culture like China, it becomes clearer why they might have delayed announcing the virus, but what personal or political agenda stopped the Italians from acting immediately, as did the US and South Korea?
Move Decisively, but Thoughtfully. In the US, the CDC issued a travel notice for Wuhan a week after China announced the coronavirus discovery in their country on December 31st, and within three weeks, the CDC established a management system to collect and share information about the virus, issued a travel health notice for Wuhan, and began screening at three US airports. The NIH also began working on a vaccine, as the CDC urged all Americans to avoid nonessential travel to China. In early February, the CDC began shipping test kits to US and international labs (about 30 countries) and expanded a partnership with a private research and development company to expedite development of a vaccine.
In South Korea, leaders were meeting with medical companies one week after the first confirmed case in their country in late January. By mid-February, Koreans were shipping thousands of test kits, testing thousands of individuals, and imposing emergency measures in the city where the contagion was spreading most quickly. These decisions were made relatively quickly as new information was available and in collaboration with medical experts and government organizations in both countries.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. In South Korea, relentless public messaging urged citizens to seek testing if they, or someone they knew, developed symptoms. At walk-in centers, health-care workers administered throat swabs. Buildings started using thermal imaging cameras to detect fevers and restaurants began to check for temps before allowing customers to enter. Leaders concluded that limiting the outbreak would require keeping citizens fully informed and requesting their cooperation.
During January/February in the US, the President’s Corona Virus Task Force was formed to help monitor and contain the spread of the virus, the illness was declared a public health emergency, and further Chinese travel restrictions were announced, including suspended entry to the US for foreign nationals who posed a risk of virus transmission. The news media began to communicate about the outbreak after the first case on US soil was confirmed on January 21st, and this information spread has increased sharply in the news cycle since the virus accelerated around February 21st. By mid-march, daily briefings were being held to inform the public about the most recent and accurate information about the spread of this illness.
Though these examples are specifically from the Covid-19 epidemic, the themes for leaders in a multitude of situations still hold true. When a crisis hits, set aside your personal/political agenda, move decisively and thoughtfully into action, and communicate as much as possible, as often as possible to keep people informed.
January 26th, 2020
Four Keys to Influencing Others
Leaders often find themselves in situations where they are trying to influence peers or others who are not in their direct line of supervision. That is, they have no formal authority over these people, but they must find ways to collaborate on projects. Sometimes, when they try to influence others on a project or initiative, the others feel threatened by them or somehow pushed out of their lane.
A couple of recent examples from coaching clients might help to illustrate these kinds of situations. In one, an engineering director was asked by the GM of the plant to create a slide deck to help senior leadership understand the new product that engineering had developed. He had involved several marketing managers in developing the slides, but had not specifically informed their manager, the marketing director, about the status. When the marketing director was informed of the deck at a meeting, he became visibly upset and confronted the engineering director about the lack of involvement by marketing. Apparently, he felt that the slide deck being presented to the sales force indicated that engineering had veered intentionally outside of its lane and into the marketing lane.
In another situation—this one from the nonprofit world—the chair of the Board was holding off on a decision regarding the announcement of a new executive director of the organization to make sure all the legal paperwork was completed before the new person was announced to staff and donors. He received a text from a member of a departmental committee who had some strong feelings about the timing of the new position announcement. This person wrote, “There is no reason in the world that the paperwork is not completed on time. Do this right!”
In both of these cases, different as they are, one person made a fundamental mistake in trying to change another person’s approach to a problem. In the first case, one peer was trying to influence the actions of another peer; in the second case, someone was trying to influence the next steps of a person two levels above him in the organization. In both cases, they made the fatal mistake of assuming they could influence someone else by bullying them. Being aggressive is usually not the preferred strategy in organizational leadership situations, and never effective when trying to influence someone.
- Ask open-ended questions and listen. This will help you learn more about the thinking and approach of the other person. Listen deeply to their response in order to more fully understand them. Most situations in which you believe you must change the thinking of another person occur when you believe the other has a viewpoint that is in conflict with yours. In the first example, above, the marketing director assumed the engineering director was purposely moving outside his lane. Had he, instead, asked a question like, “What are you thinking the involvement of marketing should be at this point?” or “How do you think we should proceed with this slide deck, and how should marketing be involved?” he would have discovered that his team was already involved and there was still time for him to influence the final result.
- Once you understand, share your perspective. People are much more likely to listen to your point of view if they see that you are interested in their thinking and have asked questions to better understand. When you are certain that the other person has shared everything they have to say on the topic, and that you fully understand where they are coming from, then begin to share your own point of view on the situation. Be patient before you share. Don’t make the mistake of jumping in assuming you understand, when, in fact, the other person has only shared a fraction of what they want to say. In our second example, had the department member made sure he understood the reason for the delay in announcing the new staff person, he might have shared a different perspective and found the board chair was much more open to it.
- Look for possible common ground. As you provide your perspective, begin to lay the foundation for shared understanding. Look for common ground in what the other has said and what your point of view is; begin to identify values and needs you both share in the situation, and look for ways to build a collaborative solution from there. Almost always, if you look closely, you will find a piece of common ground on which you can shape deeper collaboration.
- Move toward a resolution. If you have spent sufficient time listening to and understanding the other person, and you have subsequently shared your own point of view emphasizing areas of common ground, then moving toward a resolution should be relatively simple. Sometimes, however, even after your perspective and the other perspectives are laid out, there is no clearly defined common ground. Sometimes, shifting to another open-ended question like, ”What’s really important to you in this situation, bottom line?” can open up a deeper dialogue and ultimately move you toward resolution.
The ability to collaborate with others when there is no clear line of authority is a competence that will have ever-increasing value in the company of today and tomorrow.
September 25th, 2019
5 Simple Ways to Retain Talent!
In the past few months, I have had several conversations with leaders in the 35-45 age range who had either left their previous companies, or were actively pursuing other opportunities. They worked for multi-billion dollar organizations and had been at their companies for 5-10 years. None were probably considered ‘flight risks’ by their current companies.
Why did they decide to look for other options? They were not satisfied enough in their current roles and they started to develop a ‘wandering eye’ about what might be available to them elsewhere. Their fundamental needs were not being met, and nobody—including their manager—was asking them about those needs. They were just plugging along and everyone assumed they were happy where they were, though in a couple of the cases, they had actually talked with their manager and more senior leaders about their desire to be promoted.
What’s missing? Based on my own research and that of others in the leadership development/employee engagement field, we know that people often have these as their primary work motivators:
- Have a say in the decisions
- Do work that is meaningful to them, the organization
- Are able to develop friendships with coworkers
- Can build new skills, advance
- Have a manager who relates well to them and appreciates them
- Experience balance in their work and private lives
- Are paid competitively for their time
- Make clear progress towards goals
When organizations fail to meet some or most of these needs, the motivation level drops and retention of key talent is threatened.
More recent research indicates several indicators of employee commitment that seem to be the primary drivers in whether employees stay or leave. Most of them are related to the relationship with their immediate supervisor, as well as more senior leaders. Here they are, in order of importance from greater to lesser:
- My career aspirations can be achieved at this organization.
- Senior leaders treat employees as valued resources.
- I am rewarded based on my performance.
- I am acknowledged for my accomplishments.
- My manager supports me.
Are you seeing a theme here? Each of these five motivating needs related to work are significantly impacted by the relationship between the individuals and their leadership. What are you doing in your organization (or, what is your organization doing for you) that makes sure employees are progressing in their careers, rewarded and acknowledged for their work, as well as valued and supported?
Does your organization intentionally address these work satisfiers by developing and promoting leaders who inspire their team members and bring out the best in them?
How can organizations retain talent? Especially in this time of high employment and competition in recruiting top talent, organizations must do all they can to be proactive about employees walking out the door.
Here are the five best practices I suggest, gleaned from my client organizations that are most successful at retaining talent:
- Ensure that every position has a clear path toward a next position. Even if the incumbents in a particular role express their desire to remain there and not move to another role, make sure that a path exists and the learning they will need at the next level is clear.
- Gather regular feedback from employees about how they view the culture at your organization and how well they feel like they fit in and are welcome. Ask for specific ideas about how the culture could change to be a better fit for them individually. Then, make the changes you can.
- Tie the compensation of each leader to the retention, development, and promotion of their team members. Though there are always extenuating circumstances (spouse moves out of state, team member decides to go back to school fulltime, health issues force early retirement), connecting a financial and promotion component to keeping and growing existing talent on your team makes it clear how important this is to the organization’s success.
- Require frequent career discussions as part of the regular one-on-one meetings between manager and subordinate. Build in communication pathways that allow subordinates to also talk with their manager’s leader or others about their career aspirations. This way, managers who conduct career discussions just to check a box can be ‘double-checked’ by another leader in the organization. Too many talented people leave, because their manager represents a roadblock to their progress and career satisfaction.
- Build in metrics that help you recognize every six months which managers/supervisors have unusually high turnover and conduct due diligence to determine what was missing in the retention and development of those people who left. Take steps to correct these gaps.
Bottom line, make it so appealing for talent—especially young talent—to stay in your organization that they do not want to leave.
June 17th, 2019
How to Lead When They’re Not Following
A few years ago, I provided executive coaching to a VP of Sales/Marketing who received 360 degree feedback on the front-end of our engagement. From the ratings and comments on the report, it was clear that his sales team had a very low opinion, even in areas that he thought would come out as strengths. A former career military guy who had held various leadership roles, he concluded, “If my team’s not following, then I’m not leading.” He decided to resign.
More recently, I worked with the CEO of a medical nonprofit organization who had been in her role for about a year. Having been given a clear message by the Board Chair that the staff and leaders at this organization were headed in a downward spiral, she very quickly began to institute change. The team, however, thought that most aspects of the clinic were just fine. They did not see the need for many of the new changes, and had they had become accustomed to a passive, distant leader over the years. Their reaction to this new leader and her changes, after an initial honeymoon period, was distrustful, resistant, and hostile.
I was brought in to work with the CEO as her coach and it was decided that I should interview a core group of the most critical team members, as well as the other top leaders. This core group of ‘deep state’ team members had began to stage a coup, going around the CEO and directly attacking her to the Board, as well as refusing to institute the changes. In my interviews, it was clear that a deep level of distrust had developed. The CEO and I decided to work to turn around the distrust.
How does trust erode? In this case, it was the result of the CEO stepping into a deeply distrustful and fiercely independent environment , and then not spending enough time on the front end of changes to enroll the team. Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People) encouraged leaders to build the emotional bank account of trust in little deposits over time. David Horsager (The Trust Edge) identifies 8 pillars of trust that include communication and consistency—the two aspects over the3 years I have seen as primary in building and maintaining trust. But it is another of Horsager’s pillars that I think mostly undermined this nonprofit CEO—clarity. She did not clearly communicate the need for the changes, nor did she adequately enroll the team in the changes.
Even though it’s true that, if they are not following, you are not leading, it is also true that it’s never too late to go back and do the right thing. It might mean that several team members resign as a result of their deep hostility, but the remaining team can be nurtured to adapt, become part of, and even embrace the changes.
People adapt to changes in a four-phase process. They often start by holding on to the previous way, denying that things will actually change. Next, they start letting go of the old structures and procedures, recognizing that the organization will not go back to the way things were. Then, they begin reaching out to test the changes and determine how they can be successful within the new system. And, finally, they begin taking hold and fully embracing the changes. As happened with this nonprofit, some of the most entrenched resisters will leave and find employment elsewhere, but the remaining group will be committed to moving forward in the new direction.
What can a new leader do to enroll followers? Before new leaders can have impact in the existing organization, they must approach the staff and existing leadership (formal and informal) in a four-phase process:
Investigate
- Learn as much as possible about the situation in advance, before the first day
- Diagnose the challenges, opportunities
- Shed assumptions that might get in the way
- Create an initial strategy for addressing issues
Influence
- Initiate relationships (individual, small groups)
- Test early assumptions, get to know the people, culture
- Learn the job more fully
- Develop productive relationships with key stakeholders
- Identify problems, opportunities
- Establish credibility via early wins
Interconnect
- Deepen relationships with key stakeholders, others
- Build, contribute to a strong team
- Develop influential coalitions, networks
- Create a vision and a plan of action with key stakeholders
- Begin to enroll others in the plan
Impact
- Align strategy, skills of team members, systems
- Enroll, actively involve others
- Listen to others’ feedback, insight, perspective
- Hire new people to fill gaps
- Manage successful implementation(s)
Engaging your team in this way will help build trust and enroll them in the changes you intend to make as their leader, whether you are new to the role or taking on broader scope of responsibility.
February 27th, 2019
7 Leadership Lessons from a Toddler
These days, I spend as much time as possible with my twin 14-month old granddaughters. They are the apples of my eye and have wrapped me around their pudgy little fingers already. In the last couple of weeks, they have begun to develop ways to play with each other and respond to each other that provide perspective to all levels of leadership. From my observations, I have gleaned seven leadership lessons.
Once you learn a new skill, don’t turn back to less effective approaches. Babies tend to develop from rolling over to sitting up, scooting on the floor to crawling, and then standing/walking, to running. Each stage is a milestone that leads to the next stage. I’ve noticed that, once toddlers have developed more effective skills, they do not return to the old approach. The same should be true of adult leaders, as well. In my coaching, I often use the analogy of the Atlas rocket that propels a capsule into the atmosphere. Once the capsule is beyond the Earth’s gravitational pull, the initial rocket must drop off so that other, more agile rocket engines can take over the trajectory. When the techniques and strategies that got you to one level of success as a leader continue to drive your behavior at higher levels, you find it impossible to delegate fully, let go of details, and focus on bigger picture, future issues. Don’t regress to old, less effective approaches.
You are more likely to receive help by being nice than throwing a tantrum. Seems like a simple truth; toddlers learn it at an early age. Going rigid and throwing themselves on the floor gets attention, but usually not a lot of help until they stop the tantrum. However, being sweet and engaging tends to create an immediate positive response and willingness to help. Leaders who manipulate and threaten their team, react in a defensive and blaming manner, or steal credit for others’ good work are the ones who end up with direct reports unwilling to stick their necks out to help. Building effective relationships is the key to leader success; leaders who throw tantrums typically fail.
When someone is willing to step in and help clean up your mess, accept it graciously. I have not yet observed a situation with my granddaughters where they were unwilling to let a grown-up step in to help clean up a mess. Whether it involves a highchair messy with food residue, a room strewn with toys, or a stinky diaper, they always seem willing to accept help in cleaning it up. When others try to step in to help some leaders, however, I have seen denying that they have created a mess, blaming others for the mess, and being unwilling to accept help that might not be done ‘perfectly’. Instead, leaders should genuinely care about individuals on their team, look for ways to bring out the best in them, and thank them generously for their help with the messes.
Stand up for yourself. From the crawling stage, one of my granddaughters was more physically assertive and often pushed her sister, pulled her hair, and took away toys she was already holding. Eventually, however, the other toddler began to take desirable toys away from her sister, or go after her and retrieve a stolen toy. She was learning to be assertive about her own needs. As a leader, encourage your team members to stand up for themselves with you and others on the team; make sure they understand the distinction between standing up for their ideas and either pushing them aggressively, or only mentioning them passively. Make sure you stand firm when the team gets off course.
Learn to share with others. At the same time my granddaughters are learning to stand up for themselves, they are also learning to share. That is, they are beginning to play little games with each other with the same toy or set of blocks, creating collaborative efforts. Recently, they worked together to pick up my large snow boots from the front hall entry and move them to the kitchen. One started this game, and when the other noticed, she laughed and picked up a boot, as well. As a leader, sharing with your team looks similar. Encourage team members to lend a hand on projects and to find ways to help the team succeed. You can be the role model for this by asking for input, using their ideas in the final decisions, and making sure individual team members and the group as a whole share in the credit.
Laugh deeply throughout the day. Toddlers laugh often in a typical day. They find most things amusing, from watching people/dogs/cars out the window, trying out new finger foods, playing games they make up, and being chased by grandpa. It seems like the only times they are not laughing are when they are concentrating on a new task, refining a skill, feeling sick, or getting sleepy. Though there is a tendency for some leaders to think they must be the role model for serious demeanor–ensuring team members check their smiles at the door– the research shows that people do their best work when they are engaged, motivated, and light-hearted. The most creative output comes in these situations, as well. So, encourage humor on your team and see the humor in things, yourself, as the leader.
Be curious, explore, and don’t be afraid to try new things. Everything is a new with a toddler, from testing objects in their mouths, to swinging on a swing, to stacking blocks. They are curious about everything and not afraid to attempt to walk on the edge of sofa cushions or do backward somersaults out of grandma’s arms. As a leader, it’s critical to be the grown-up making sure no one gets hurt, but it’s equally important to encourage team members to be curious, test things, and explore other avenues. Make the end goal clear, but encourage them to develop their own path toward it. This will generate more potentially breakthrough ideas and motivate them to continue to try new approaches.
February 12th, 2019
Coping with a Toxic Leader
Search for ‘toxic leader’ on the internet and you will find everywhere from four to 10 characteristics or traits of toxic leadership. Some articles identify psychological traits: autocratic, narcissistic, overly competitive, manipulative, and intimidating. Others describe behaviors: bullying, sense of entitlement, lying and inconsistency, lack of listening, lack of moral compass, and self-promoting. Still others use characteristics and attitudinal descriptors: arrogant, not confident, rigid, callous, insular, incompetent, hierarchical, and discriminatory.
This is quite a poisonous picture of ineffective leader behaviors. My guess, from working with hundreds of executives, is that no one wakes up in the morning and looks forward to being a toxic leader at work. In fact, when leaders I‘ve coached receive 360 degree feedback that uses words like these to describe their behavior, they become agitated and defensive—some to the point of tears.
How toxicity develops. If no one starts out desiring to become a toxic leader that makes others sick and generates high turnover, then how does toxicity develop? Just like rust on your automobile or cholesterol in your arteries, it develops in small deposits over time. However, there are usually some precipitating incidents from early life that set the toxic ball rolling.
For most people, a fearful incident or series of them in childhood threatens the need we each have to be loved and accepted, valued and significant, and safe from harm. In those moments of fear, we generate theories of how to protect ourselves going forward. Because we usually produce these beliefs before age 7, when we first have the ability to think logically, they are automatically irrational. These theories include ones like: “I need to be shy and pull back to make sure I’m not rejected,” “To be seen as competent, I must prove that I am smart and make sure I get all the credit,” or “I must make sure people around me are not seen as more competent than me, or I may be fired and replaced.” On a deep level, toxic leaders feel like a fraud in the role, and they are working very hard to compensate.
Why do toxic leaders remain in place? Usually because they offer a high level of competence or brilliance in one area that the organization views as too important to lose. Consequently, they make excuses for the behavior, work around the person when possible, and accept the fact that there will be higher turnover from this person’s department. For example, in providing feedback a number of years ago to a CFO, we both could see clearly that his toxic behaviors contributed to lower scores in his emotional intelligence. However, when we looked at the section where others indicated how important they thought it was for him to change these behaviors, very few identified that as a compelling need. In other words, they saw that his behaviors were toxic and ineffective, but did not see it as a priority for him to change.
What can you do with a toxic leader? Here are some ideas for individuals who work for a toxic boss, as well as organizations that employ one:
Individuals: recognize that their toxic behaviors are not the result of anything you have said or done. That is, the foundation for the toxicity was laid long before they met you. Toxic leaders are frightened leaders who have developed ineffective behaviors to cover their irrational fears. Try not to let your own fears and faulty beliefs cause you to react to these people, but, rather, take a breath and respond to them as calmly and rationally as you can. Follow up conversations with an email to summarize your understanding of the decisions made (this helps clarify communication and document the interaction). Whenever they do or say anything that seems supportive of you, acknowledge them and thank them (this helps move them in the direction you would like to see them become). Keep Human Resources informed of their toxic behaviors and how you are trying to work effectively with them.
Organizations: recognize that toxic leaders can have a very negative effect on your bottom line, through demoralized attitudes and low productivity on the part of the team, as well as high turnover and the cost of replacing team members who choose to leave. Take seriously the complaints of people around them and conduct impartial HR evaluations of the veracity of claims. Administer a 360 degree feedback instrument, making sure raters are assured that their specific responses are confidential. Provide in-depth feedback on the instrument and use it to create a development plan. Hire an executive coach who is competent and confident enough to dig into the underlying dynamics of this toxic behavior to ensure that the individual will gain insight about the irrational fears and faulty beliefs, as well as develop new leadership strategies. Make certain the individual is held accountable for the behavior change identified.
December 12th, 2018
Stop Being So Defensive!
In my work as an executive coach, I find myself in situations where the people I’m coaching become defensive. This often happens as I’m walking them through our FULLVIEW 360-degree feedback instrument, when they see a particular rating or comment that pushes their buttons.
Recently, I worked with a mid-career executive who had overused alcohol at an organization-sponsored, multiple day event. I was trying to help him see how his drunkenness and inability to function over the course of the event was a signal that he was feeling overwhelmed in his executive role, and that he needed to undergo a chemical dependency evaluation as a first step in seeking help. Instead of being open to the offer of help from his organization, he reacted defensively to the suggestions, and then abruptly resigned. His manager and I received the resignation news with shock, and we asked ourselves, “What just happened?”
The answer to our question is that he did not want to fully address the underlying, contributing issues, but instead chose a knee-jerk, defensive response. At the core of defensiveness is an individual perceiving the need to protect oneself from the personal attacks of others and tending to take things personally that others say, even when they are not meant to be a personal attack. As I discuss in my 2006 book, Fearless Leadership, this reaction is based on irrational fear and faulty beliefs that trigger someone’s fear of being personally rejected, viewed as incompetent, or getting hurt in away they cannot fix.
What does it look like? Defensiveness can be observed in spoken words, emails, texts, etc. in which someone communicates to you or about you or your team, and you find yourself over-reacting to their communication. Most people find themselves reacting defensively at times in a typical day or week,but some folks take it to an art form.
In this executive’s case, he exhibited six aspects of defensiveness that you may have seen in yourself and others:
- Feeling hurt. You interact with others and you leave the interaction feeling that their words were overly harsh and critical of you. You feel like they are blaming you for something that was not your fault. They did not seem at all to be concerned about your feelings.
- Blaming others, the context. Not wanting to be blamed yourself, you find fault in others. If they had just helped you in some way or stepped in to protect you, this problem would not have happened. Or perhaps you blame the organization for lack of clear system and communication.
- Not genuinely apologizing. Stuff happens and things go wrong, but defensive people feel overwhelmed if the blame legitimately falls on them. Instead of genuinely apologizing and beginning the restoration process with others, they do an insincere ‘mea culpa’ that leaves others feeling like they were actually the ones at fault.
- Shifting the focus. If others are not clearly to blame in the situation, you deflect the focus of the conversation to another, broader topic that obfuscates the real issues.
- Controlling the interaction. In order to protect yourself from being blamed, you take steps, sometimes dramatic ones like resigning, to control the narrative and the outcome.
- Minimizing the impact. Often, the person being defensive actually is to blame in some tangible way. In these cases, they describe the situation in a way that makes the problem seem to be smaller than it actually is.
- Shutting down or leaving. When all else fails, emotionally shutting down or checking out can be used by the defensive person to stop the feeling of being blamed. This includes ignoring suggestions from others designed to be helpful.
How can you help someone stop their defensive reactions? Here are several steps that can help you become more emotionally intelligent when dealing with defensive people:
- Refrain from reacting defensively. The typical response when someone interacts to you with blaming, minimizing, shifting focus, or shutting down is to become defensive yourself. The first step, then, is to recognize when you feel your blood pressure rise in a “fight or flight” reaction, take a deep breath, and recognize that your buttons just got pushed.
- Shift your focus to the other person. Look at them with compassion, recognizing that their reaction has little or nothing to do with you, but, rather, has resulted from pent up emotions from various other sources in their work and life. Decide to be curious about what is going on inside of them that has resulted in their over-reaction.
- Ask open questions until you understand them. Using statements like, “Please tell me more about your feelings,” or “Help me understand what upset you” can begin to attenuate a defensive reaction by others.
- Move toward a resolution. Once the person has become less defensive and more open to dialogue, you can also try posing questions like, “How can we resolve this going forward?” or, “What would you like to see as next steps?” This might require a ‘time out’ between step 3 and step 4, to give the person a chance to return to a normal state of mind.