Roselle Leadership Strategies

In the course of my 30 year career as an executive coach, I have sometimes been in the circumstance where the executive considering me as a coach is also interviewing other potential coaches.  Thankfully, these win-lose situations usually have resulted in the executive choosing me.

In most situations where I have not been chosen, it has been for legitimate reasons and strongly held beliefs.  For example, I have not been picked several times, because the executive preferred to work with a female.  Next most frequent as a reason is that I am Caucasian, and they preferred to work with someone of color.  The third most frequent legitimate reason is that I was perceived as either too structured or too open-ended to suit the approach they thought would work best for their style.

All these explanations for not choosing a coach make sense to me and seem to be legitimate reasons that an executive would hesitate to choose a particular coach—especially if the beliefs are very strong and not likely to shift with further discussion.

However, I have also heard a few reasons for not choosing me as a coach that I think should be questioned by the organizations paying for the coaching.  Here are the particularly problematic reasons for not being chosen:

• “We clicked immediately.” While it’s true that working with a coach who makes your skin crawl or whose voice is like fingernails running down a chalkboard would be painful, coaching is distinct from choosing your new best friend or picking someone with whom to eat lunch or have a drink at a conference happy hour.
• “The other guy seemed more fun.” Working with a dour, humorless person as a coach is probably not a desirable situation for anyone, but, seriously, coaching is a working relationship in which the coach provides what the executive needs to be more highly effective.  It’s designed to be a working relationship, not a play date.
• “The chemistry wasn’t right.” This makes sense, to a degree, because there should be a feeling that the coach and participant can work well together.  Since most coaching participants have not previously worked with a coach, they don’t actually have a good idea of what the chemistry should be for growth to occur.

How to choose for the right reasons.  Since coaching is the interaction that occurs within a trusting relationship in which the coach equips others with the information, perspective, support, and opportunities they need to help them develop, it is important to choose a coach thoughtfully.  Here are four legitimate reasons for choosing an executive coach:

• This coach complements my style. Ideally, that means the person has an approach that will help move the coaching work forward.  For example, if you are more detail and short-term focused, someone with a strategic and future oriented approach can help you broaden your leadership approach.  Or, if you tend to be very serious and somewhat awkward around people, a coach who has a sense of humor and is more relationship focused can help pull out this side of you.
• This coach brings a depth of expertise in an area that will help me. If the informal feedback you have received from your boss and others is that you need to exhibit a greater level of business savvy, working with an expert in that area can fill in gaps.  Or, if you tend to over-react to situations and easily get your buttons pushed under stress, a coach who has expertise in the role that fears and faulty beliefs play can help you learn to stop reacting and start responding more effectively.

• This coach is strong enough to challenge me. This might be important to you, because you are a strong, aggressive personality yourself and need someone to call you on your stuff.  Or, you might tend to be passive and avoidant as a style, and you need someone to challenge you to become more consistently and confidently assertive with others.  Coaching is not therapy, and organizations paying for coaches want to see real, measurable change, so you need to be challenged.
• This coach creates a safe space in which to grow. At the same time you need someone to challenge you, it is also critically important to work with a coach who provides a safe place in which to grow.  That is, a person who will work to understand you deeply on the front end, encourage the behaviors that you both want to see more of, and notice/reinforce the steps you take to become more effective.

The best strategy in choosing an executive coach is to combine all four of these to find the ideal fit. Whether you are paying for the coaching yourself or your organization is paying for it, it is important to be a wise consumer.  Your career future just might hang in the balance.

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You’re cultivating a career and might even be managing others. Maybe you pour yourself a drink as soon as you get home to unwind, only to find you’ve finished the bottle before bedtime. Or perhaps long days behind a desk have aggravated a condition that causes chronic pain, prompting you to rely on prescriptions just to get through the day.

At first, you might not think twice about your habits, but it’s important to understand that not everyone with substance use disorder turns to illegal drugs or is an obvious abuser. Drinking can become alcoholism, and legal prescriptions can lead to abusive behavior. In these cases, it can be more difficult to determine when use descends into abuse. So, what warning signs might indicate you need help?

Although the signals can differ depending on the individual and the substance they are abusing, if you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or cravings for substances of your choice, it could indicate addiction. That’s especially true if you are continuing to use even after experiencing serious negative consequences. Other signals might include an increased tolerance for your substances of choice and loss of control — including repeatedly trying and failing to reduce or stop using drugs or alcohol on your own, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).

Indeed, the reality is that few people struggling with substance use disorder can stop using and say sober on their own. They also shouldn’t be expected to, considering the fact addiction is a disease that — like other chronic conditions — is most effectively addressed by a team of healthcare professionals. Those experts may provide counseling or other forms of behavior therapy as well as prescribing medications. Effective treatments should also address co-existing conditions, such as mood disorders, that may be a contributing factor for abuse.

Whether you decide on an inpatient or outpatient approach, getting and staying sober will probably mean taking some significant time off. But, before you share your problem and plan with your supervisor, you should educate yourself on company policies that pertain to employees and rehab.

For instance, your workplace could have specific guidelines to help you maintain confidentiality about your health conditions and your reasons for being out of the office. Your employer may also offer additional resources, such as an employee assistance program, that offers counseling services.

It’s also important to know that the Americans with Disabilities Act protects employees from being fired for poor job performance because of substance abuse as long as the employee has chosen to enter treatment. What’s more, you are entitled to as much as 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave annually under the Family and Medical Leave Act. Considering your position is protected by law, the best approach is honesty when explaining to your supervisor why you’ll need time off in the coming weeks.

But the company could require returning employees to sign a return-to-work agreement after rehab. Such agreements outline the employer’s expectations for the employee and serve as an important accountability tool. And the deal is more than just words on paper. Failure to abide by a return-to-work agreement after completing rehab can be grounds for termination, according to Business.com. So, the best way to deal with such agreements is by meeting or exceeding their goals.

While that may be a challenge considering you’re also dealing with the stressors related to recovery, it is possible. Even though you may have thought you were an effective employee or executive before entering rehab, you will likely be exponentially more effective after. And once you’ve gotten back into the groove at work, you might find the time off, and the accomplishments you made in that span, are advancing your career — and your recovery journey.

About 6 years ago, Eva Benoit left her job as an office manager to pursue being a life, career, and overall wellness coach. She specializes in helping professionals with stress and anxiety, but welcomes working with people from all walks of life. She works with her clients to discover and explore avenues that will bring them balance, peace, and improved overall well-being that can last a lifetime. Her website is evabenoit.com and she is author of the upcoming book, The 30-Day Plan for Ending Bad Habits and Improving Overall Health.

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Last week, I was once again cut off and nearly struck by a car driven by someone who failed to check his blind side.  Instead, he just slashed across a lane of traffic squinting into his side-view mirror and assuming that everything he needed to know could be seen from there.

Don’t they teach people in driver’s education to turn their heads and check their blind side anymore?  Don’t drivers realize that there is critical information—possibly life or death—in that simple over-the-shoulder look?

While it may be less important to check your blind side when you drive one of the new high-tech vehicles with blind side alerts and automatic braking, it is still critically important to check your blind side(s) at work.  Having coached executives for 30 years, it is clear to me that everyone has blind sides.  Most do not regularly check them.

What do I mean by a blind side at work? Being too aggressive or passive in conflicts, procrastinating on decisions, talking over people in discussions, treating others in a dismissive or demeaning manner, and being excessively quiet and close to the vest are examples of blind side behaviors.  That is, people are often blind to others’ reactions when they exhibit such behaviors.

Much like drivers who only check their side mirror, most people only ask a few trusted others at work how they think they are doing and what they could do to improve.  They do not dig deeper to determine what their blind sides might be or how they could be more effective.  Sometimes, these blind sides are referred to in performance reviews, with words like “people skills” or “results focus”, but often they are not addressed directly by one’s manager.  Moreover, people tend to become defensive when others bring up their blind sides, because, well, they are not aware of them—hence the term ‘blind side’.

The problem is that these blind sides often become obstacles to your emotional intelligence (EQ) with others, and, ultimately, to your career success.  What can you do to make sure your blind sides–much like bad breath or body odor–are not sending signals to others that undermine their perception of you?

These four ideas should help:

1. Become committed and open to learning about your blind sides and addressing them, recognizing that everyone has them. People are much more likely to be give you feedback and coaching about these if they can see that you are open to their perspective and committed to putting new approaches into practice.
2. Identify a set of 10-12 others at various levels in your organization (boss, peers, direct reports, others), and ask them what they think your primary strengths are in your role, as well as your developmental needs. The advantage of this approach is that it is usually fast and inexpensive; the downside is that these folks might not be comfortable enough to tell you the whole truth.
3. Or, contact your Human Resources department to ask that they conduct an online 360 degree feedback instrument on you that will anonymously contact your boss, peers, direct reports, and others to ask them about your strengths and weaknesses. I use the FULLVIEW Feedback Inventory, an online instrument I developed about 20 years ago. This approach provides a much more in-depth set of data and comments, and, because it is anonymous, makes it more likely that you would receive honest responses.
4. Whatever approach you take to getting honest feedback, be committed to learning and growing from it. If you feel stuck in trying to make changes on your own, work with an executive coach.  Read books like Fearless Leadership—my 2006 book—that help you recognize what pushes your blind side buttons and how to move from reacting to responding.

The good news is that these blind side behaviors are usually just approaches you have adopted over the years that can be un-learned and replaced by more effective behaviors.  Identifying and working through them will improve your EQ and your career trajectory.

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Much has been written in the past few years on the question of which characteristics are most correlated with success in leadership roles.  Many writers have emphasized the importance of emotional intelligence, while some have focused mostly on the capacity to achieve results or build effective teams.

Nearly 40 years of research on the factors related to the success of leaders new to their roles have illustrated that the capacity to build and maintain effective individual and team relationships is the most important factor, followed by the ability to attain the promised results.  Most of that research, however, has focused on leadership in medium to large businesses.

What about leadership in small, entrepreneurial businesses? At a recent meeting of small business entrepreneur/owners that I attended, one of them asked the others in the group what they thought the single most important characteristic was for successful small business leadership.  His question took the others off guard and they needed to take a moment or two to think about it.

These owners represented a wide range of types of business, from manufacturing to financial services, mechanical/technical production to consulting. Each business had less than $5 million in top line revenue.

The individual who asked the question was looking to hire a new leader who would report to him, and he intended to use the answers from the group to help him narrow a list of potential candidates.  When everyone had weighed in on the list, they looked at it and agreed that this same list was critical for success for the top leader/owner-entrepreneur, as well as for all key leader roles in their small businesses.

The top 8 critical leadership characteristics.  They identified and agreed on these characteristics as the most critical ones:

Clarity: identifying goals, strategies, and objectives, as well as mission and vision of the organization in a way that others can easily understand. Imbedded in this is the ability to articulate these clearly, as well as the intention to communicate them often to the rest of the company to ensure continued clarity.

Drive: demonstrating consistent energy investment in the goals, objectives, strategies, etc. of the organization.  This includes a strong emphasis on accomplishing the results as promised, within the agreed-upon timeframe. This kind of energy is infectious to the rest of the organization and motivates them to go beyond their self-perceived limits.

Courage: exhibiting confidence in the face of ambiguity or rapidly changing conditions, having the capacity to be fearless in approaching difficult customer or internal issues. This includes not being afraid to bring conflict into the open or to be assertive about individual or organizational needs.

Authenticity: displaying genuineness, being open and vulnerable across interpersonal situations, and resisting the urge to ‘fake it until you make it.’  Instead, this capacity means being consistently ‘real’, letting his/her core personality and style come through, and being comfortable in his/her own skin.

Empathy: recognizing that the emotional needs of employees and their families is important and has an impact on quality, productivity, and morale.  This includes being open to conversations about the emotional needs of others, believing in their best intentions, and listening with curiosity and empathy to their desires and concerns.

Empowerment: focusing on the development of others on the team and pulling out the best in them.  This includes trusting them to do the best they can, delegating fully, looking for ways to stretch people and help them grow, and encouraging them to try new things. This also means helping people move from lower levels of confidence and competence to higher levels, until they can take full responsibility for projects and tasks with little or no oversight.

Integrity: demonstrating trustworthiness in his/her own actions when handling people issues, utilizing resources, negotiating with customers, and communicating information across the organization.  This includes ‘walking the talk’, being consistent in interactions with others, and doing what you say you will do.  This usually also includes having a firm foundation of beliefs about honesty that drive their trustworthy behaviors.

Humility: exhibiting openness to feedback, both positive and constructive or critical, and an understanding of his/her weaknesses as well as strengths. This includes giving a major share of credit to others when things go well and taking a major share of responsibility when things go wrong.  It means having the best interests of the organization and others in mind, rather than self-interest.  It includes the capacity to laugh at his/her own shortcomings and to recognize that success is about others, not them.

How do these same characteristics apply to larger businesses? Though these are the eight characteristics this group of entrepreneurs identified as most critical to success in small, entrepreneurial ventures, how do they apply to larger corporate structures or nonprofit organizations?  Since nearly all of my executive coaching and 360 degree feedback work has been within large, multinational organizations, I applied these same characteristics to those leaders and saw that there is great overlap.

While there are a number of top leaders in such organizations who evidence very little of characteristics like Empathy, Humility, or Authenticity, this type of leader is, in my opinion, being phased out.  That is, the next generation of leaders will need to be more genuine, empathetic, and humble to continue to be promoted.  They will, of course, also need to demonstrate Clarity, Drive, and Courage so that they consistently achieve the results as promised.  They will need to put renewed emphasis on empowering others and achieving results through them.  Because lack of integrity has caused a groundswell of reaction on social media across multiple industries, this, too, will be a more highly sought characteristic of leaders in larger organizations going forward.

Questions to ponder: How do you think these 8 characteristics fit the profile of what is needed in the top leaders in your organization?  How well do you think you fit the profile? What is your organization doing to recruit and promote such leaders?

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Recently, I was reading a manuscript that dates back more than 2,000 years, and I noticed that the wisdom captured there could be applied by organizational leaders to the process of giving feedback.

More on that in a moment, but, first, what is feedback?  The English Oxford Living Dictionary defines it as: “Information about reactions to a product, a person’s performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement.”  In the organizations where I provide executive coaching and leadership development training, feedback is used primarily as information and perspective on an individual’s performance in aspects of their work.

I believe that feedback is a gift of someone’s time and energy, even though—like me—you may have experienced feedback in the past that has seemed to be anything but a gift at the time!  Often, feedback is poorly done, so that it feels more like an inquisition, an assault, or an attempt to keep you in check.  It is one of the most frequently used vocabulary words in organizations today, and it usually begins with the words, “Can I give you some feedback?” to which the only acceptable answer is, “Yes, sure.”

This article will give you useful tips on how to provide good, helpful feedback intended as the basis for improvement.  First, I’d like to share a story from my past, when I learned that feedback is a gift, and that I needed to care enough about people to give them my feedback. 

About 25 years ago, I was part of a panel that spoke to a group of HR professionals in New York City on a topic related to career development.  On the panel sat a Human Resources VP, the head of another consulting company, and me as an outside consultant.  This consulting company president immediately annoyed me when he arrived breathless—shortly before the event began—and told the rest of the panel that he needed to go first, because he had another important engagement to attend.  So, from the beginning, it was clear that he had something more important to do and he did not intend to stick around to hear what his fellow panel members had to offer.

Then, just moments before he was to speak, he popped off to the men’s room.  He came back and turned toward the room filled with HR professionals to address them.  As he made this turn, I was seated slightly behind him and noticed that his suit coat was tucked into the back of his pants, making him look like an idiot.  He was unaware of it, however, and the audience was also unaware of it as he faced them about to speak.  I sat there silent for a moment and asked myself if I should tell him about his suit coat being tucked into his pants. In that moment, I decided that I didn’t care enough about him to give him the gift of feedback.  He launched into his part of the talk, often turning his back to the group as he went through his slide deck.  I knew it would be sometime later, when he was at his next, more important meeting, that he would notice the way he was dressed.  I smiled with a bit of evil satisfaction thinking of that moment.

As I said, feedback is a gift of time and energy designed to help someone improve.  In order to be the kind of leader who gives effective, consistent feedback.  Here’s where the ancient wisdom comes in:

Genuinely care.  When you decide you will give people feedback, make sure that you are genuinely interested in their improvement.  If you are threatened by them in some way, if you are jealous of their abilities or successes, or if you just don’t like them for some reason, you will not give feedback that is helpful.  Particularly if you are feeling critical or judgmental about them, your feedback will not be effective.  Further, if they feel judged by you due to the tone and content of your feedback, they will evaluate you as unfair and overly critical, and they will convince themselves that your feedback is designed to harm them rather than help. Make sure you do have their best interests in mind.

Clean up your own act.  Over the years as a coach, I’ve heard my coaching clients complain about bosses or peers who gave them feedback about something, when these people were actually worse at it than my clients.  For example, if you struggle with listening deeply to others when they share their thoughts and feelings at work, make sure you bring your skills up to at least adequate before you start to give advice and counsel to others about listening.  Or, if you tend to swing from passive to aggressive in your approach to conflict situations, shore up these conflict resolution skills in yourself before you coach someone on being respectfully assertive. 

Carefully choose the timing.  Even the best feedback, from a foundation of genuine caring and personal skill in the area of coaching, will fall flat if the person is not ready to receive it.  So that you are not wasting your breath—and annoying the other person—choose your timing carefully.  Tee it up in advance by giving the person a ‘heads up’ about the topic about which you want to provide feedback.  Ask them to think about their skill level in the area before your meeting.  If they become visibly upset during the first part of your feedback, reschedule the meeting for a later time and ask them to think about the topic again beforehand.

The origin of this ancient wisdom. These three aspects of effective feedback come from the ancient wisdom of the Bible.  In Matthew 7, verses one through six, Jesus said, “judge not that you be judged”, “take the plank out of your own eye”, and “don’t cast your pearls before swine”.  These three admonitions, it turns out, provide the basis for highly effective feedback in which you genuinely care, clean up your own act first, and carefully choose the timing.  In addition, you should:

Be specific in your observations, suggestions. Vague suggestions and unclear observations from your perspective will only serve to obfuscate the situation.  Focus your observations on the specific behaviors you have observed on which you want to provide feedback.  What have you seen them do, or read from them in emails that you think could be improved?  Stay away from interpreting the underlying psychological reasons for their behavior or impugning their motives. Just state the facts, and then share your response—thoughts or feelings—to those facts.

Follow up to ensure understanding. When delivering the feedback, you might make the mistake of assuming people understood what you said.  I’ve often heard coaching clients say, “oh, I’m sure they understood me—I was very clear in my feedback and concern.”  However, unless you ask people what they understood you to say, you don’t actually know if what you intended to say was what they interpreted from your words.  So, follow up with them later to ask what they walked away with from the feedback; if it’s not what you intended, clarify further and check again for understanding.

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This morning, I as I drove into the parking lot at the athletic club where I work out, I noticed a small, red sedan parked in ‘that spot’.  It was in that highly coveted spot next to the building, very close to the front door.  In fact, it’s the one space closest to the door that is not marked as requiring special credentials to park there. 

It sits right between the one marked handicapped and the one reserved for veterans wounded in combat.  Right between hero and handicap.

It’s a space I’ve parked in before.  When it’s raining or snowing, or just plain freezing like it was today, I relish parking there–right between hero and handicap. No special requirements, no special license plates—no need to be someone special to park there.

Today, however, when I saw the red sedan there looking kind of lonely with empty spots on either side, I started to think about how this unmarked parking spot reminded me of my life.  How many decades had I lived my life parked safely between hero and handicap, somewhere between courageous enough to take a bullet defending a cause I believed in, and being stopped by my own limitations.

 I wondered how many others live their lives in that same spot.  I wonder if you are, in fact, one of those people, like me, who work and live somewhere between hero and handicap.

Looking up “hero” in the dictionary online, I found that it is a word now considered gender-neutral, referring to a person noted for courageous acts or nobility of character, or who, in the opinion of others, has special achievements, abilities, or personal qualities and is regarded as a role model. 

Then, looking up “handicap” online, I found that, in the most generic sense, it refers to any disadvantage that makes success more difficult.  So, handicaps can be physical, psychological, economic, geographic, cultural, racial, familial, or any characteristic that makes success more difficult for you than for someone else. 

While I have some achievements, abilities, and personal qualities I am proud of at times, I don’t feel like I measure up as someone noted for courageous acts or noble character—someone who is truly a hero.  And, while I have certain irrational fears, faulty beliefs, and feelings of being a fraud at times, I do not merit an official designation of handicapped. 

Looking back at my life from the perspective of the beginning of a new year, I decided to challenge myself to live this next year dramatically less handicapped by my real and perceived limitations and substantially more heroic in my words and actions.

My New Year challenge to you is to adopt these commitments that I outlined for myself, so that you can get outside of that comfortable rut between hero and handicap:

1. Recognize who you are at the core. What are your unique attributes by which others know you?  That is, what do those who know you best tell you about your personality, abilities, motivations and ideas? What stands out to them as your signature traits, what words do they use to describe you to people who don’t know you already? A key piece of moving away from handicap and toward hero is to know and accept who you are, who, as some say, “God made you to be.” Commit to becoming grounded with who you are at the core. (See my 2016 book, The Fraud Factor).
2. Identify the ways you are handicapped. I often describe to my coaching clients the ‘box’ they seem to be in, based on the various walls they describe that are hobbling them.  Sometimes, these walls are real–gaps in education or experience, physical or psychological limitations, or other factors that create an obstacle to moving forward.  Most often, these walls are created unknowingly by the individual.  A colleague who wanted my opinion on whether she should complete a PhD complained to me, “I don’t want to be 60 years old and just getting my doctorate!”  My reply was, “well, either way, you will turn 60—the question is, do you want to have a PhD when you do, or not?”  The ways that most people are handicapped are not genuine physical or psychological limitations, but, rather, limitations based on irrational fears and faulty beliefs that keep them from being fully expressed in their work and lives.  That is, we most often handicap ourselves through self-limiting talk that is based on unconscious, irrational fear (See my 2006 book, Fearless Leadership).
3. Pinpoint the ways in which you are already heroic. Ask the same people you identified in step one to recount for you the ways they have seen you exhibit courage, character, or integrity in the past.  When they think of you, what stands out to them that is noble or good– something that has provided a role model for them in certain situations?  These are typically the kinds of things that others will not tell you, unless you ask them specifically. Ask work colleagues, family, and friends to answer this; perhaps, you can begin by telling them the ways in which you see them as heroic, and then ask them to give their perspective on you. Commit to continuing and building on these heroic facets.
4. Paint the picture of your new heroism. Once you understand who you are at the core, how you have limited yourself in the past, and the ways in which others already see you as heroic, the final step is to commit to becoming more deeply heroic.  Where will you speak up more courageously? What will you do to take a stand for others less heroic than you? How will you invest your time and energy breaking down real and artificial barriers that have limited you or others in the past? Remember, from the definition, a hero is someone who has noble character, courage, and the qualities of a role model.  What will you do to stretch yourself so that your friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and—most importantly–you will recognize the heroism?

As for me, I intend to work fully through these four steps as I begin the New Year.  My very first step will be to not park in the spot between hero and handicap, but instead to walk past that parking space.  Walking past that space will be my metaphor and reminder that I am committed to walking away from my self-imposed limitations and toward the full expression of my heroism. 

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In August of this year, I spent time with Human Resource leaders from 25 global companies on the topic of assessing and developing key leaders.  At one point, we identified critical leadership competencies across their organizations that were in moderate or low supply in the marketplace, as well as the most difficult to develop.  These constituted their top leadership ‘gaps’.

Using a model developed by Korn Ferry for their Voices 360 instrument, we identified the competencies, below, as the Top 5 Leadership Gaps across their organizations:

• Develops talent—helping them meet their career goals and the organization’s goals
• Values differences—recognizing the value that different cultures and perspectives offer
• Demonstrates self-awareness—using feedback, reflection to gain personal insight
• Adapts to situations—adapting approach, demeanor to fit shifting demands, situations
• Builds Effective Teams—developing strong teams that apply diverse skills to achieve team goals

Notice anything that these leadership gaps have in common?  They are all related to interpersonal effectiveness and Emotional Intelligence.  They do not include other leadership factors like business insight, financial acumen, strategic mindset, managing execution, or driving results. They are all on the softer side of leadership competence.  In fact, 35+ years of research into what causes leaders new to their roles to either succeed or fail identified the number one factor as the ability of new leaders to develop effective individual and team relationships.  This same theme is clearly reflected in the top 5 gaps identified by these 25 companies.

The good news.  Having read the emotional intelligence literature and worked on building these competencies in leaders for 30 years, the good news is that all of the top 5 gaps listed, above, can be greatly impacted by selective hiring practices, as well as challenging assignments and executive coaching.  That is, though they are difficult to develop and in short supply, there is much you can do as an organization to build success into your selection and development systems.

What would be the Top 5 gaps in your organization?  That is, what competencies are in low supply among your leaders, and have proven to be the most difficult to develop?  What could you do to hire new people to fill these gaps, or develop your current leaders to fill them?  Two strategies working together can fill the gaps.

Selecting new leaders.  Let’s start with selecting new hires from the outside.  Your organization probably does a relatively good job of interviewing candidates—setting up multiple meetings with people at several levels from across the company —and ensuring that they have the relevant education and experience.  However, you may not dig deeply enough into those ‘top 5 leadership gaps’ that affect your organization and will impact it even more for the future.  Before selecting your next new leader, take these three steps:

1. Identify desired skills. Use a leader competency framework (perhaps you already have one that reflects your organization’s values) to identify those skills and abilities that are most important to your organization’s future, are in relatively low supply in your company, and are the most difficult to develop through coaching or training.
2. Create in-depth process. Using your desired skills from step 1, develop a multi-layered screening process that gathers accurate data on candidates. From an intentional, systematic combination of behavioral interview questions, written responses to questions, personality inventories, abilities testing, and sample work situations, look closely at the degree to which candidates have the skills you most desire in your organization.
3. Troubleshoot the process. Identify 2-3 current employees you believe have some or all of the desired skills and take them through the process you have developed.  The goal in doing this is to determine if the process would have identified these folks as highly desirable hires.  If not, tweak the process in a way that more accurately hones  the most desired skill sets.

Developing existing leaders.  Now, let’s look at what you can do to develop people already working inside your organization.  Assuming the leadership gaps your organization identifies are similar in some ways to those identified by the 25 global companies mentioned earlier, they probably mostly reflect competencies related to building and maintaining individual and team relationships, developing greater resiliency to changing situations, accepting and applying feedback, and building diverse teams. 

Again, the good news is that most of these ‘softer skills’ are amenable to development through training and coaching.  For example, when I deliver my Great Leaders workshop series or engage in individual executive coaching, I am mostly working within a curriculum that develops muscles in these soft skill areas.  The process of creating positive change usually involves these three steps:

1. Provide accurate feedback. Typically, leaders at all levels receive little to no in-depth feedback on their level of skill across a core set of competencies.  Oh, there might be some perspective shared at annual performance reviews, but this usually is not enough to actually create behavioral change.  On the other hand, using a 360 degree feedback instrument, like my FULLVIEW Feedback Inventory, or the Voices instrument previously mentioned, is a very powerful way to build insight and perspective.  It also injects a shot of motivation to change the negative perspectives reflected in the developmental needs sections of such reports.  In many cases, just receiving accurate, in-depth, unbiased perspective on how they’re being perceived is enough to change a leader’s behavior.
2. Build desired skills. Use a combination of on-the-job learning that involves assignment to tasks and responsibilities designed to stretch and build muscle in the desired skillset.  Arrange an internal mentor who can provide additional perspective, or hire an outside coach who can help the individual work in-depth on new skills, as well as on the internal obstacles within the leader that stop him/her from growing these new skills.  Use classroom or online training available inside and outside the organization to help cement these new skills.
3. Give follow-on feedback on progress. Use informal feedback from the coach or mentor, from key stakeholders, and from others to ensure that progress is being made toward the desired skill set. Make sure the individual continues to be motivated to build the skills and complete the course of work required to get there.

Bottom line.  Every organization has leadership skills gaps, and some of these are very difficult to fill. Using a combination of selective hiring and intentional development can mitigate the impact of gaps.

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More leaders struggle with effective delegation of tasks and responsibilities than any other single skill in their day to day work.  They often hold on to more than they should, swoop in to take tasks back, or dump the tasks on others with little context or follow through.  Are you one of those leaders?

In a recent coaching conversation with a senior leader, we focused on delegating more thoroughly to her team in order to more effectively manage her time.  She gave me a quizzical look when I brought up ‘delegation’, because she had defined her coaching issue as ‘time management’.  I explained that, in order to manage time in a win-win-win strategy, she needed to become great at delegating work. She gave me another quizzical look.  I explained that delegation is the only strategy I am aware of that creates a ‘win’ for her, the team members, and the organization.  The three wins are these:

• Leader wins by freeing up time for higher priority tasks that are important, but not as urgent
• Team member wins by learning new skills, growing in perspective, positioning for the next level
• Organization wins by pushing decisions down to the lowest level, getting most bang for the buck

The light started to go on in her eyes now.  But quickly, she began to raise questions like these:

• What if my direct report doesn’t do the task well?
• What if they approach it in a way I know won’t work?
• How will I keep my finger on the pulse of the work, if I give it away?
• How will my boss know the work is being done to her satisfaction?

These are examples of what I call ‘faulty beliefs’ about delegation, ones that are fear-based and undermine a leader’s capacity to delegate fully.  (See my 2006 book, Fearless Leadership for more on faulty beliefs and underlying fears). Most leaders have a version of them in their minds as they hesitate to delegate, not trusting the outcome.  This leader added a relatively new twist, however, when she asked, “Won’t my team members just think I’m being lazy and arrogant, dumping work tasks on them that I consider beneath me?”

I laughed and thought about it for a minute.  Then, I suggested that she use this strategy: “If you can’t think of how a task will benefit your direct report, don’t delegate it.” This puts the emphasis on the requirement that a delegated task or responsibility must have some clear benefit to the person being handed it.  She smiled now, as she recognized that this simple rule would counteract her primary faulty belief about delegation.

How about you as a leader?  Do you use delegation as effectively as you could?  Is your boss pressuring you to take on other tasks and responsibilities, but your plate is too full to accommodate them? Are you grooming your replacement by making sure this person and others on your team are continually challenged to stretch in their work tasks and approaches? When you delegate, do you make your expectations clear and provide the optimal amount of support?

In another situation, this one from my first coaching conversation with the leader of a growing ministry, the issue of delegation came up again.  He showed me an email he had crafted to his Executive Committee that outlined potential changes in his role.  These changes were designed to free up his time, but I wasn’t sure he was focusing on the highest priority items or building in enough development for his direct reports.

I asked him what he thought were the components of his executive director role that only he could or should focus on.  He identified these as the key aspects of his role:

• Casting the vision and making sure it was clearly understood by staff and other constituencies
• Being the point person, with other key staff, in connecting with other organizations and individuals who could help support the programs of this ministry
• Managing his staff and helping to guide their programs
• Leading a couple of specific ministry programs that were especially dear to his heart

This was a very good start, and I encouraged him in the thinking he had done so far.  However, I also asked, “What about developing people who are in key roles right now, as well as those who could be groomed to fill these roles in the future—including your own?” That stumped him for a moment, and I saw that now familiar quizzical look on this new face.

As in my first example, the identified issue was managing time and feeling too stretched to meet all the demands, and, again, the solution was to delegate more effectively.  In particular, the solution was to identify the highest priority tasks that only he should handle, and to find ways to develop others on the staff to take on more of the responsibilities he currently controlled. 

So, what is the ‘secret sauce’ of effective delegation?  Here are the key ingredients:

• Determine how much support versus challenge you will provide for tasks delegated to each person on the team, based on your sense of their competence and confidence.
• Make your expectations and work direction clear on the front end as you delegate tasks; make sure they understand by asking them to tell you what their understanding is. This makes it much easier to hold people accountable downstream.
• Determine the decision-making latitude with this person on this particular task. That is, should they only take implementation steps after checking with you, make recommendations for the decisions and steps, decide and inform you before taking, or just decide and inform you later?
• Monitor progress on delegated tasks, giving feedback that encourages and provides correction as needed. Use an action plan that they create, with specific priority steps, check-in times, and due dates where needed.
• Never, ever swoop in to take tasks back in order to get them done right!

And remember that, if you are having problems with time management, first take a critical look at how effectively you are delegating to your team.

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In my work with leaders across a wide range of industries, functions, and levels, I’ve seen that they often run into situations that require collaborative problem solving approaches.  I have found that the collaborative approach—while preferable in most situations–has predictable downsides and rabbit holes.  These five components should minimize the times that your collaborative approaches derail!

Invite the right people to the table.  As the leader of a collaborative problem solving meeting, it is important to make sure that all the relevant perspectives are represented around the table.  Often, this involves bringing in an outside voice to the discussion, someone who can provide a ‘contrarian’ perspective and can ask about the unknowns that the group thinks they already know about.  To ensure the right folks are at the table, ask the first participants you identify, “Who else needs to be at the table to solve this problem?” Lacking all the right people can undermine the collaborative result. 

For example, when consulting with the head of IT at a major window manufacturer, my coaching client identified the problem for his IT department as, “we need to find outside offices, because there is not enough space for our team to sit together in the HQ building.”  This led him to exploring outside office space in the area and signing a lease on a set of offices.

That’s when the person in charge of corporate branding got wind of the solution and stepped in to label the outside office space ‘substandard’, not consistent with the brand.  Though my coaching client had invited engineering, facilities, and others to the table, he had not asked who else should be involved and he did not seek out contrarian points of view.  This led, predictably, to identifying the solution he had in mind at the beginning–to find outside space.  He then was forced to go back to the drawing board and to invite a broader spectrum of people to look at this space problem.

Ask the right questions.  In many collaborative problem situations, you just need someone to ask the right question, framed in a way that sheds light on the situation.  As a leader, you can encourage contrarian questions, tap people you know will freely speak their minds, and focus on input, rather than solutions at this stage. The most effective types of questions to use and encourage in others are those known as open-ended, which cannot be answered ‘yes’ or ‘no’. For example, asking questions like, “how can we best meet our mutual needs?” or “what do you think our biggest challenges will be in 10 years?” usually leads to many ideas and possibilities.

One factor that works against us in collaborative problem solving is that our brains are designed to actively screen out unimportant information and focus only on the most critical stuff; they also fill in gaps between things so that they make sense.  However, often the most helpful information is that which our brains do not think is the most critical, and often the most insightful questions exist in the gaps that we normally just fill in.

For example, how many times have you read over an email and then sent it, only to discover that it was missing a word in the context of a sentence, or you had inserted the wrong word that started with the same letter of the word you wanted to use?  These both happen when our brains automatically fill in gaps; we literally need to read emails word for word to double check them.  A number of years ago, a colleague and I were working with Buick to help them think about how to engineer their dealerships to be more customer-focused.  To accomplish this, we used hidden cameras to capture interactions with salespeople.  At one point, we turned off the visual and just listened to the various sounds on the video.  Up until that point, the annoying background sounds were not part of the data to which our brains were attending.  With just the audio, however, it became apparent how the noise negatively affected the overall customer experience.

Agree on the problem.  In almost every problem solving situation, the participants have pre-conceived ideas about what the problem is and how to solve it.  Most participants arrive at a collaborative problem solving session already enamored with a particular solution.  For my coaching client at the window manufacturer previously mentioned, it was “to find space outside the building for my team.” To make sure that every collaborative discussion is framed accurately, start by asking each participant to write down what they think the problem is.  The way each describes the problem will usually be written in a way that suggests a particular solution, like needing to go outside the building to find office space. 

As the leader, ask clarifying questions to help get down to the underlying problem the group needs to solve.  For example, when someone indicates that the problem is, “I need space outside the building to house my team,” you can ask, “why is that a problem?” The response might be, “because I want the team to be in one location, and there is no space available in the building large enough to accommodate them.” Okay, so the underlying problem is that the team needs to be in one location, right?  Assuming that all participants around the table agree that this is the problem, they can then start generating solutions to this problem.  One of those solutions would be to find space outside the building, but other solutions could include: constructing a building expansion for this and perhaps other teams that have outgrown their space, using shared desk space and working from home a couple days a week, or finding a group that has more space than it needs right now to switch with your team. 

Apply the solution.  After generating several options to the agreed upon problem, the next step is to choose a solution and apply it to the problem.  For the window manufacturer, exchanging places between IT and engineering groups was the option that worked.  Both groups had adequate room in the near term with this option, and corporate branding was happy.

Accept the consequences.  Though we can usually identify the facets that we know are important, and the facets that we think are important, but we don’t know enough about them, it is difficult to identify the ‘unknown unknowns’.  As a result, we often are in a position where we need to move forward on a decision, knowing that there are unknown unknowns that might have consequences.  Being unexpectedly wrong is not a place that most leaders want to be, but this cannot be totally avoided. 

The key here is to accept the consequences, and then to quickly recognize the bad decision and adjust the strategy going forward.  Recognize that, even if you asked all the questions perfectly and involved the perfect group of collaborators on the front end, the decisions you reach will not be right much more often than successfully calling ‘heads’ in a coin toss.  However, if you use these five keys to great collaboration, you will have made the best decision possible, under the circumstances.

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In Chicago on business recently, I took a taxi from the airport to my downtown client.  On the trip, I didn’t talk more than a couple of words with the driver, just to confirm the address.

When my several hours of meetings were complete, I headed out to the street to hail a cab for the trip back to the airport and a taxi was parked at the curb.  When I opened the door, I recognized it was the same driver who had dropped me off four hours earlier!  He also recognized me.

We both were struck by the coincidence, laughing at the unlikely event.  He indicated that he thought “it was God” that we would connect again.  He explained that airport trips were much more lucrative than short, inconsistent rides within the city, and that he felt blessed that day to have two such rides.  I noticed his taxi license this time; his name was Walid.

On the way back to the airport, this time in much heavier traffic, we started a conversation.  I learned that Walid was originally from Tunisia, but had wanted to leave because there were no opportunities there.  Six years ago, he was chosen by lottery to be able to come to the U.S. on a temporary work visa.  He was now within a few weeks of taking an exam to become a legal citizen.

Still living in Tunisia, Walid had a wife and small daughter whom he travelled back to see every several months. He also had extended family, all of whom had difficulty making ends meet with the lack of jobs and opportunities there.  It was a depressing story of hardship that mirrored the grey Chicago sky–families broken up and separated, years of hard work and scrimping.  What struck me most, however, was his infectious smile and positive attitude.

This taxi driver from Tunisia was college educated, but was reduced to picking up fares and hoping for long runs here in the U.S. And he was smiling.  He missed his wife and daughter terribly, but recognized that his goal was bigger and longer term—to create a life of opportunity for his precious child.  He smiled with a slight tear in his eye.  He lived in a small apartment in a not so great part of town, but it was hundreds a month cheaper than one closer to the center of the city.  He smiled again as he thought of creating a better life for his family.

When he dropped me off at the ticketing door, Walid smiled broadly and shook my hand, and I wished God’s blessing on him and his family.  He thanked me, and I walked into the airport, knowing that I would likely never see him again.

But I thought about the Tunisian taxi driver for much of my flight and realized that Walid represented the kind of individual that I do not read much about, nor meet in my day to day life.  This cab ride had been a special moment for me, a glimpse into the life of someone I would otherwise have never met, a degree of insight that I would otherwise not have had. 

It occurred to me that Walid represented 6 lessons for any life:

Choose to be upbeat.  From my perspective, Walid’s life seemed rather difficult—leaving his home, wife, and daughter to work in a foreign country; having to learn a language unfamiliar to him and work a job beneath his college degree; living in minimal housing and working long hours.  Somewhere along the way, however, he seems to have discovered that life and work go much better when one smiles and approaches people with warmth and energy.

Focus on life’s priorities.  Walid’s priorities were clear–to send financial support to his wife and daughter, as well as his extended family still in Tunisia.  He saved enough money to also visit them every several months and recommit to his love for them. His work and career were important, but being there for his family and building for their future was the most important–except, perhaps, for the next lesson.

Trust in God.  I still don’t know how he ended up sitting in the right spot at the right time in front of my building, waiting for me when I left my meetings four hours after he dropped me off.  Had he sized me up—not carrying a suitcase, only a shoulder bag—as someone who would be back at the curb in several hours? Or was it, as he said, a God thing?  He trusted in God to guide his steps and his cab stops.  It seemed to give him perspective, faith that things would work out for him, and support in the tough times.

Chip away at your goals.  With most people I know, chipping away at goals and making only gradual, sometimes zero progress toward them is frustrating and discouraging.  For Walid, however, he continued to focus on the goal of a better life for his family, and, at some point, having them join him in the U.S.  Every day, he counted on the fares he would make that day, and then planned his strategy for the next day, when he would chip away some more.

Be patient with obstacles.  Walid had waited almost six years to take his citizenship test. Each one of those years was an obstacle that separated him from his family, yet he displayed an amazing and unusual degree of patience and faith that he would get past the obstacles.  He was ready to take on his last hurdle–the test–in the next couple of months. I got the sense that, even if he failed the test, he would wait patiently for the next testing date.

Be thankful for your blessings. I asked Walid if he qualified for any public assistance or other aid, and though he was still smiling, he seemed a bit offended that I would ask.  “Oh, no,” he said, “I know I could get money in this way, but there are so many others who need it more.  I am okay; I’m doing just fine without it.” What a refreshing attitude, much like the early immigrants to this country, who viewed the U.S. as a land of opportunity and were thankful just to be living here.

As I look back on my 40 minutes with Walid, I am inspired and humbled by his story.  I hope you are, too.

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The Leadercast simulcast from Atlanta to host sites across the U.S. this year focused on the theme “Powered by Purpose.”  This year’s speakers included Andy Stanley, mega-church planter and author; James McKelvey, co-inventor of Square; Daniel Pink, best-selling author; Suzy Welch, best-selling author and wife of Jack Welch; Tyler Perry, successful director/actor, author, and entrepreneur; and Henry Cloud, best-selling author and leadership expert.

From these presenters and three others on the stage in Atlanta came a great deal of wisdom and insight about the impact of purpose in one’s life and work.  From my notes during the six-hour day, I have captured these nuggets to share with you:

• Studies indicate that, when people can clearly see the reasons/impact/purpose for their work, they are much more engaged, productive, and satisfied. There are two kinds of purpose: a life purpose, which is making a difference, having meaning, and transcending; and making a contribution in your day to day work, which is important to your ongoing psychological well-being.
• To take action on your purpose, think and talk about the ‘why’, rather than the ‘how’. Thinking about the end of your life, determine how you want to write the sentence that describes who you were, what you did, and how you fulfilled your purpose. This will bring clarity to your sense of purpose.
• Your purpose is wrapped around problems you encounter in life. Working toward a clear solution provides internal satisfaction.  That is, knowing you’ve solved a problem, even when no one else knows about it, provides a sense of fulfilled purpose for you.
• Purpose is a means to an end, a path to meaning, and not the outcome. (Would you rather be the shovel, or the hole?) Those who devote themselves to themselves will have nothing but themselves to show for themselves.  However, if you devote yourself to more than yourself, you will ultimately have more than yourself to show for yourself. Your starting question should be, “who am I here for in life?”
• Look at what you currently do through the lens of ‘means’, the process of getting to a desired end. Your greatest contribution may be through someone you raise, rather than yourself.  Pay attention to what stirs your heart, and surround yourself with ‘on purpose’ people.
• To create meaningful work, you are not forced to choose between making a living and making a difference. Create the work you wish existed, learn as you go, and execute with purpose (not perfection).
• Be authentic—there’s no such thing as a happy, phony life. Bit by bit, presenting your false self to others drains the joy out of your life.
• Great leaders do five things well: cast a vision for the desired future state, engage talent, develop a strategy/plan to get there, measure the right stuff and hold people accountable, and fix and adapt as problems arise.
• The truth about feedback: a wise person adjusts himself to the feedback, a fool adjusts the truth of the feedback, and an evil person attacks you for speaking the feedback.
• Correction and compassion need to walk side by side when you are leading others and providing coaching/feedback.
• In business, never despise small beginnings, because great things can grow from these.
• What happens along the way on your leadership/life journey is more important than the outcome. It’s the little moments that can create big outcomes in our lives.
• Selfishness and selflessness are both contagious; the point of your purpose is to determine how you will serve others, how you will contribute to them—not how you will serve yourself.
   

What kind of leader will you be in 2017, in order to live out your purpose?

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Have you thought that you might be suffering from a degree of burnout?  In the past year, I recognized that three of my executive coaching participants from different client organizations were experiencing the symptoms.  All three happened to be in the finance departments of their organizations.

One individual described his situation in this way, “I have lots of direct reports, more than in the past, and most of them are not very friendly.  I don’t usually know what’s coming my way, or how to handle it.  There’s just so much uncertainty and confusion in my mind.”  Another said, “I feel like I’m always on call, where something could go wrong at any moment.  It feels like an abyss that I’m in danger of falling into.  I can’t live in the moment or experience happiness there, because it’s up to me to figure out what the developing problems might be.

A third coaching client noted, “I’m having trouble getting past feeling overwhelmed, and I often feel attacked when people make comments about my team.  When others dump stuff on me, I feel frustrated and confused. At the same time, I feel like I must take full accountability for everything, because I can’t trust anyone else to actually help me.”  Do any of these statements sound like you? If you look closely, you will see four components they have in common—these are the signs of burnout:

Taking on the weight of total responsibility.  Do you pride yourself on taking full accountability for your work and stepping in when others drop the ball?  Do you feel like you are the only one who seems concerned about work being done correctly and accurately, or who gives tasks full attention?  You can manage this for limited periods of time, but, if you will discover that you can only dance so fast, and then you start to trip and fall.  In coaching one of the persons, above, I asked if the CEO, CFO, or COO spent as many hours at the job as she did, and if they seemed as concerned about the company problems that were keeping her awake at night.  This question seemed to give her some perspective that, if the company founders and top leaders were not stressed about a particular situation, maybe she should take on less personal responsibility.

Being stuck in the moment, with no time to plan ahead. A bit like the arcade game called ‘Whack a Mole’, do you feel like stuff just keeps coming at you and there’s no time to think about your future actions– only time to react quickly to the next thing that pops up? This is the kind of short-term experience  you expect when starting a new job, getting through a seasonal work crunch, or covering for someone who has left and not been replaced yet.  However, when this mode becomes the norm and your adrenaline constantly flows, there is a high probability you will suffer from burnout.  Even firefighters get burned out (pun intended) when they are constantly putting out fires. 

Reacting to others with frustration, anger.  Often, the most visible sign of burnout is the ‘edge’ with which you interact with others. Some might describe this aspect as feeling cynical and detached from people, not connecting affectively with others as you do the work. Has this happened to you?  I was initially called in to coach all three of these individuals to help soften their edge with others, because of the degree of frustration and detachment they evidenced with their team and peers.  The longer you carry the weight of responsibility and find yourself constantly in reactive mode, the more ‘brittle’ your approach and sense of humor become.  People then react to your attitude, and they become even more angering and frustrating to you. 

Feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, confused, exhausted, incompetent.  Have you ever felt like this?  When feelings like this appear, it is a sign that your mind and body,  exhausted with the stress,  are starting to shut down.  You feel incompetent and powerless to affect any meaningful change, which creates a sense of hopelessness.  You lose any sense of accomplishment, because you are inundated with tasks that never seem to get completed.  I’ve seen this in all three of the clients, above, with each wondering if their job or the company were right for them.  They were so pessimistic that they began to conclude they just needed to fire everyone on the team, or quit themselves.

How to beat burnout!  Here are five steps you can take—and help others take–to avoid burnout:

1. Take the signs seriously. Sit back for a moment and assess yourself on these four signs of burnout.  Name it burnout and take them seriously—you can’t address what you don’t recognize.  Often, what underlies burnout is irrational fear that others will not accept or respect you, or that your job is not safe.  Recognize that these fears lead to taking on too much accountability, reacting rather than responding, and feeling confused and hopeless (I discuss this in by 2006 book, Fearless Leadership).

2. Build a support network. Find people at work, at home, or in your community you can talk to about what is happening at work, so that they can understand and provide helpful perspective.  This network can include spouse, siblings, parents, friends, peers in other organizations, or professional counseling help.  Ask them to give you reasonable perspective on the situations, but don’t ask them to tell you what you should do—they just need to listen.

3. Be good to your mind/body/spirit. Often, the first things to be dropped when you feel stressed by a time crunch are: regular exercise, eating wholesome foods, prayer/meditation, down time with family/friends, and sleep.  All of these help you build resilience in the areas of mind, body, and spirit. Don’t try to compensate with caffeine, sugar, alcohol, or other unhealthy substances. 

4. Turn work over to others– let it go. This is a great way to free time for higher priority, future oriented tasks, as well as to teach skills to team members, so they can take on greater responsibility.  With all three of these coaching clients, I encouraged them to delegate as much as possible, to push back on timelines imposed by others, to identify superfluous meetings they could skip, and to block planning time on their calendars.  I helped them see how they could take more control over certain aspects of their work, so that they would have greater margin for the crises and surprises.
5. Establish realistic limits.  I encouraged all three of these clients to take action and accountability in situations over which they had control, but to let go of those over which they had little or no control.  You need to know when to ask for help, when to bounce something back to your manager, and when to say you’ve reached your limit. No one will step in and set limits for you.

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“Wow, I can’t believe how much I got done this week—it was phenomenal!” When is the last time you heard yourself saying words like this? Based on my informal poll of managers across various organizations, you may never have heard yourself say these words!

In a recent national poll, more than 90 percent of managers admitted that they wasted time in carrying out their job responsibilities. Time is easy to waste, especially if you are not highly focused on its passage. Benjamin Franklin once wrote, “You may delay, but time will not.” The problem with time is that it keeps on ticking away, whether you notice it or not.

Time is not only fleeting, it is costly for an organization. When I deliver leadership training to groups of managers, I always remind them at the beginning of the series of courses that their organization is investing a great deal of money in their development. No, I tell them, not because of my fee, but because of the cost of four hours of time for a group of 20 managers, times six monthly meetings. That’s an organizational investment of nearly 500 hours of salary and benefits! Your time costs money.

TOP 5 DRAINS. So, how do most organizational leaders waste time? From my executive coaching conversations, here are the top five time wasters and ways to counteract them:

1. Superfluous meetings, emails. In coaching Dan, a high potential manager working for a major construction company, he confided in me that he put in 65-70 hours a week and it was killing him. Already knowing the answer to my question, I asked what the norm was for leaders at his level at the company; he answered “50”. The problem in most organizations, including Dan’s, is that people who are known to work that many extra hours are seen as ‘unproductive time wasters’, rather than ‘hard-working heroes’.

When we mapped out his typical week on a piece of paper, it was clear that Dan was spending far too much time in meetings where he already had a representative there from his team, where he was only observing in case something came up, or where he only had critical input for a portion of the meeting time. Moreover, he was included on too many email strings that were superfluous. Dan’s most important steps toward stemming the waste of his time was to only attend meetings where his input was critical to the shaping and decision-making of the group, and where his boss considered it a priority; immediately cut himself off most email strings. This eliminated about 50 percent of the meetings he previously attended and 25 percent of the emails, freeing up time to focus on strategic and operational issues.

2. Unnecessary interruptions. It is widely accepted that when unanticipated interruptions disrupt your train of thought, it takes 10-15 minutes for that train to get back on track. Most of these interruptions are unnecessary, in that the person knocking on your door usually could hold the issue until later in the day or the next day. This appeared to be the case with Renata, the controller for a high tech manufacturer. She complained in our early coaching meetings that her hours were stretched so thin and her frustrations were coiled so tightly that she tended to explode at various times throughout the day or week. 

The biggest problem she identified as a time waster was people on the team, her peers, and senior leaders who had ‘emergencies’ she was forced to handle. We talked about how she was likely wasting two to three hours a day in lost concentration on those days with constant interruptions. I suggested she be assertive about her time in these ways: set specific hours during the day when her door was open for drop-ins, work from home or an obscure conference room when she needed to focus for lengths of time, and reschedule time for those who still dropped in without warning.

3. Unimportant tasks. Too often, leaders spend a great deal of time focused on the wrong tasks. This is akin to working very hard to climb a ladder, only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall. What are the right tasks? These are usually the highest priority ones your boss is asking you to focus on, the ones most directly related to accomplishing your team and individual goals, and the ones that are likely to have the greatest impact for the organization. For most of us, it feels great to check off a bunch of tasks from our administrative to-do list, to plow through a large number of unread emails, or to organize those files we’ve been trying to get to. As a self-employed consultant who only gets paid when I’m working on billable projects, the cost of spending chunks of time on the wrong tasks is very clear. The key step here is to ask continuously, “is this the best use of my time right now?” Posing this questions and being brutally honest in your answer will minimize focusing on the unimportant tasks.

4. Procrastination. Some leaders wear procrastination as a badge of honor, believing that putting things off leads to better results in the long run. However, I help them understand that procrastination is actually perfectionism in disguise, and its roots actually are underlying irrational fears. One of my coaching clients, Gerry, asked himself questions like, “What if it’s not done perfectly enough for the client?” “Suppose new information comes along tomorrow, and I’ve already made the decision today?” These are examples of fear-based thinking that delays critical decisions. And, as we usually discover, if you put off a decision long enough, someone else or the marketplace conditions makes the call for us. The antidote here is to recognize that the underlying motivation usually is to avoid making a mistake and that the driver is irrational fear. Ask yourself, “What’s causing me to be afraid of making this decision or moving this project forward; how big a deal is it if I decide now, and then change my mind with new information later?”

5. Delegation avoidance. Perhaps the most insidious and common of time drains, this one undermines a majority of my coaching clients. Oh, they usually have reasons that seem legitimate to them—“My people are too busy–I’ll just do it myself,” or “It’s too menial to hand off,” or my favorite, “It will be quicker to just do it myself.” While these and other reasons for not delegating have some truth to them, the net result is leaders spending too much of their time on detailed tasks, and direct reports not learning or developing enough through delegated work. This represents what I like to call a lose-lose-lose, where neither the leader, nor the direct reports, nor the organization benefit. The solution here is to inspect each task on your to-do list and determine (honestly) if it is a task you could delegate to someone else; would delegating it free time on your calendar for higher priorities, as well as provide a learning experience to someone on your team?

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Last month, my wife and I decided to celebrate our wedding anniversary in a way reminiscent of when we first got married—by taking week long driving trip with no plan. We knew we would need to start by driving somewhere, so we decided to go to Betty’s Pies, North of Duluth, MN, and then choose the next step from there. Big decisions are always easier on a stomach filled with pie!

Three adventure-filled days later, we arrived in Bayfield, WI where we needed a place to stay for two nights. After trying a couple of places that were already booked, we walked into Greunke’s—a place that promised food and lodging.  We told the tall, lanky guy with the man-bun that we needed a room for two nights.  He seemed confused and somewhat agitated about finding a room for both nights, but eventually, after looking at his paperwork explaining several options, offered their Studio room. 

The room was a large, sprawling space that, though a bit tired-looking, would work just fine for two nights. I handed him the credit card, he booked the room, and we headed off to dinner. We were excited to be staying just across the street from the shuttle boat to Madeline Island, where we intended to spend the whole next day on rented bikes.

After a picture-perfect day on the island, we came back to our hotel room tired and needing a shower. We headed straight up to our room.  The door was unlocked when we opened it, but everything looked like it had been straightened up and cleaned.  Upon closer inspection, we realized that it was too clean—ALL of our stuff was gone, including suitcases, hanging clothes, and my guitar.  The room had been stripped of our belongings!

I quickly made my way downstairs to the same guy in the man-bun standing behind the counter and blurted out to him that the door had been left open by the cleaners, and that all our stuff had been stolen! He gave me that same confused look I had seen the night before, and then, instead of offering apologies, accused me of leaving our stuff in the room that he had made VERY CLEAR was available for only ONE night! His staff had been forced to empty all of our stuff from the room when we failed to check out on time.

The ensuing conversation was civil and without expletives, but also without any admission on their part that they might have made a mistake or miscommunicated when booking us. He kept saying, “But, the receipt says it was for ONE night, and it was NOT available for the second night, so I could NOT have rented it to you!” After about 10 minutes of continued one-way dialogues that involved his mother (the owner or manager, I assumed), the man-bun guy, and a wait staff person, I decided it was time to retrieve our stuff and find a different lodging with better customer service orientation.

That’s when I discovered ‘the straw’ that pushed me over the edge. When removed from the room, our belongings had been literally stuffed into one large black trash bag—personal pillows, hanging clothes (that had been dry cleaned and pressed), toiletries, and snacks all balled up together.  I was furious!  I confronted man-bun’s mother about it, and she simply said, “Well, we had guests coming in and you folks had not checked out by 11, so we had to get everything out of the room.”  I asked why no one had called my cell number that was on the registration form to determine why we had not checked out, and I got another of those blank stares I had become accustomed to from her and her son.  No apology, no offer to compensate me in some way for the inconvenience or miscommunication.  We drove away.

So, what did I learn from this adventure in Bayfield that can be helpful to you as you try to manage or influence customer service in your organization? Here are six critical lessons that form the foundation of great customer experiences (hint: they are the opposite of what I experienced at Greunke’s):

• Understand the need fully. Listen deeply, ask clarifying questions, and summarize what you think you have heard to insure that you, in fact, understand the customer’s needs completely. My wife and I needed a room for two nights, and that need did not change from when we first expressed it.
• Assert your limitations clearly. Let the customer know how your internal policies, lack of resources, etc. create boundaries on what you can and cannot provide to meet the needs expressed. Make certain that the customer understands and accepts these limits. In our case, the management of Greunke’s never said in our first interaction, “I’m sorry, but we do not have a room for two nights.”
• Communicate problems quickly. At about 10:45 the next morning, when it was clear that my wife and I were not intending to be out of the room by 11, the front desk could have called my cell and talked to me or left a message to communicate the dilemma they faced in getting the room ready for a guest who had reserved the room in advance. The sooner we were informed about the issue, the more help we could have provided in resolving it.
• Assume positive intentions initially. This is crucial, and it is the point at which the Greunke experience began to really unravel. From my interaction with them later when we returned from the island, it was clear that they assumed: we had purposely NOT checked out, when we knew that we were supposed to check out; we had intentionally stuck them with handling our stuff, which was totally inconsiderate on our part. This apparent assumption on their part colored every action they subsequently took, including throwing our pressed, hanging clothes into a garbage bag and dumping everything on a dirty storage closet floor.
• Accept responsibility readily. From their perspective, the only responsibility they had was to fill out the room form correctly, charge the credit card, and get our stuff out of the room before 11 a.m. They apparently accepted no obligation to listen to what we wanted, assert their inability to fulfill our request, communicate with us when they identified a problem, assume positive intention on our part, or accept a share of the responsibility for the miscommunication. They did offer to call around to help us find other lodging, but at that point, it was too little, too late.
• Compensate for inconvenience generously. After we had phoned a nearby bed and breakfast to stay the second night and had moved our stuff into the car, I went back to the counter to return my room key (which they had not requested from me) and to see if, perhaps, they would offer some compensation for our inconvenience. Nope, the owner/manager just took the key and looked away, in a clear non-verbal signal that we were done.Stuff happens all the time in customer interactions, but these critical lessons should help you resolve things in a way that keeps customers coming back. The one question that underlies all customer interactions is this one, “What can I do to make sure this customer interaction goes well?” Asking this question at every stage of customer communication leads you to each of these six critical lessons.

Stuff happens all the time in customer interactions, but these critical lessons should help you resolve things in a way that keeps customers coming back. The one question that underlies all customer interactions is this one, “What can I do to make sure this customer interaction goes well?” Asking this question at every stage of customer communication leads you to each of these six critical lessons.

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Just like you, on some level, in certain situations, every person feels like a fraud. Even the most successful and confident individuals find themselves in settings where they begin to think that someone else would have been a much better choice to handle their duties. Does that surprise you?

In working with organizational executives, business entrepreneurs, and consultants, I have found this underlying feeling of inadequacy, and I have come to call it ‘the fraud factor’. These symptoms are thoroughly described in my new book, The Fraud Factor (Leader Press: Minneapolis, May 2016).

In this book, the word ‘fraud’ means feeling inauthentic, like a phony or charlatan in a particular situation that, in your mind, requires you to pretend to be someone very different than whom you really are at the core. The most effective individuals function genuinely from their core personality, abilities, motivators, and beliefs; they get into trouble when they stray too far from that core.

How can you know if you are feeling like a fraud? Here are some typical symptoms:

7 Signs You Feel Like A Fraud

1. You consistently avoid certain people and situations that make you feel inadequate.

2. You believe that you need to explain your actions, prove yourself to certain others.

3. You often think that others are better, more qualified, or more successful than you.

4. You believe that nobody would understand or accept you if they really knew you.

5. You believe that you must act/behave very differently from who you really are in order to be acceptable or successful in a particular environment.

6. With friends and family, you are relaxed and confident, but at work, you feel a level of tension or anxiety (or the opposite—relaxed at work, but tense at home).

7. You often feel like you have not prepared fully enough for a task or responsibility at work or home, and you worry about failing.

These 7 signs reflect someone who has a deflated sense of self as a result of feeling inadequate. Sometimes, however, people respond to fraud feelings with an inflated sense of self. Here are some examples of these symptoms:

1. You hold unrealistic, positive beliefs about your own capabilities

2. You minimize or ignore critical feedback from others

3. You blame others for the problems that occur at home or work

4. You feel like you must inflate and/or promote your own results to get adequate credit

5. You believe that others do not appreciate what you bring to the table or undervalue your work

It is more difficult to recognize these inflated self-symptoms when you look at yourself in the mirror. It helps to receive 306 degree feedback, or at least to have others who are willing and courageous enough to give you honest perspective on yourself.

Whether you experience an inflated sense of self or deflated sense of self, these signs, and other specific ones you may be experiencing, can undermine your confidence and success. When a situation or set of circumstances pushes you off balance and creates a level of dissonance or destabilization in your life, what can you do to overcome this feeling of being a fraud? Here are 5 steps you can take to Get Real Again:

1. Recognize what it is about the situation/circumstance that makes you feel inadequate

2. Identify the fraudulent behaviors you are engaging in that actually undermine your effectiveness (avoiding, trying to prove yourself, blaming others, etc.)

3. Pinpoint the Big, Fat Lie you are telling yourself (why you are not adequate in this situation/circumstance)

4. Reconnect to your core attributes that have helped you succeed in the past (signature personality traits, unique abilities, positive motivations, values/healthy beliefs)

5. Leverage this insight to become authentic again!

What does it look like when you are genuinely and authentically yourself, at work and at home? For most people, being real has these components:

• You present yourself to others in a relaxed, confident, and authentic manner
• You are well aware of who you are at the core—personality, abilities, motivators, and beliefs 
• When new, unexpected situations arise, you confidently respond to them, rather than react anxiously, fearfully
• You are open to others’ feedback, and regularly solicit it from them
• You accept yourself, and you are realistic about your talents and limitations

Bottom line—the most effective you will ever be occurs when you leverage fully the talents and abilities you have been given. That means that you develop deep self-awareness, are thankful for your talents, accept your limitations, and work hard to minimize fraud feelings.

To order your copy of The Fraud Factor before the first printing sells out, you can go directly to the book distributor, Atlas Books, at: http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/05818.php

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As a leader at any level across a wide variety of organizations, you likely will run into a direct report, peer, customer, or other who appears to be stretching the truth, or outright lying. If you are like me, you struggle at times to discern what is truth and what is fiction in their story.

Recently, I had the experience of meeting and trying to help someone on the streets of Minneapolis; that interaction helped shed light on this question. I will call him Big Roy. He was a drug dealer and user, and my wife, a couple of friends, and I befriended him as part of an outreach in the inner city. Warm, personable, and friendly, Big Roy was quite the opposite of the kind of person I thought I would encounter hanging out at 10 p.m. on the street. After our first meeting, in which we talked with him for about an hour, we met him on several more occasions where we talked, laughed, cried, prayed, and shared food with him.

Toward the end of the first week of our interaction with Big Roy, we began to be a bit suspicious about whether the stories he told us were true. We wanted to be trusting and loving with this guy, and he convinced us that he earnestly desired to turn his life around and work a legitimate job—maybe as an addiction counselor, or even a pastor.

Finally, after more than a week, we began to talk with others we had begun to identify—family members, case workers, staff—who had known Big Roy for many years. Their stories came into stark contrast with his stories. When I gently but directly confronted Big Roy about the inconsistencies in his stories, he became angry and belligerent, demanding to know who I had talked with and who had authorized me to call his sister. That’s when I simply shook his hand, wished him good luck, and parted company with Big Roy. It was clear that he had been masterfully lying the whole time.

Street smarts education. It was quite an eye-opening experience for me that provided a valuable education. In my four decades of coaching and counseling experience, I had never met someone who could lie with such a straight face, cry with real tears in a way that feigned brokenness, and manipulate people so smoothly to get what he wanted from them. I decided to share what I learned from my brief but intense relationship with Big Roy by focusing on what I discovered about people who lie. My hope is that this perspective from someone who is a Master Liar will help you spot less adept liars you run into as a part of your work and personal lives.

What really adept liars do to get their needs met. Here are four things Master Liars do:

• Obfuscate the lies with truth. Instead of spinning a yarn that is totally false, they interweave components of truth with lies. This way, they keep you guessing which pieces are true and which are false. They make vague statements that can be easily misunderstood and easily denied later when you question them. “Oh, I didn’t say that, I said this…,” or, picking out a piece that actually was true, “This IS true, it’s exactly what I said.” Sometimes, they will bring in other people to corroborate their stories, but these people will only know about PART of the story, and the liar then uses this true piece to validate the whole story.
• Foster gratitude. To soften your heart, they will do something or take some action that is, or appear to be, genuinely altruistic and aimed at helping those they are manipulating. It might be a small gesture, something that shows they care about you or are looking out for your best interests, with no thought to their own safety or benefit. In Big Roy’s case, he very assertively escorted us off the street that first night and into our car, explaining later that some gang members had arrived and we were no longer safe.
• Win you over with their charm. You are more likely to believe a liar if they stay friendly and upbeat, even when you begin to question their veracity. If liars engage you in such a way that you develop a genuine liking and compassion for them, then it becomes more difficult for you to ask the tough questions and become skeptical of the liar’s words and actions. Big Roy shared stories about his kids, showed genuine interest in our families, joked with waitresses when we took him out to eat, and expressed gratitude for all we were doing for him.
• Feign a genuine heart change. The crowning achievement for a liar is to get you to believe that they are genuinely sorry for their past actions and words, that they are truly repentant and broken about what they have done in the past, and that they have done a complete turnaround because of your interest in them. This takes an actor or actress of sociopathic proportions, one who can cry real tears of remorse, sadness, pain, or happiness when telling whopping lies. In the end, my wife and friends agreed with me that his real calling was not drug dealer, addiction counselor, or pastor, but actor.

How you can protect yourself from liars. In the first year of so of my career, I made the conscious decision to trust people until I discovered they were being deceitful, rather than distrusting them and discovering later that they were being truthful. You might take the opposite stance, but, either way, you can use this brief guide to help you respond appropriately and protect yourself to a degree:

• Trust, but verify: be warm and friendly when others give you their version of what happened in a particular situation; ask questions to get their whole story. When details seem vague, ask more questions, or find out who else can verify the facts. With these additional people, make sure you ask enough questions to determine the truth of what they are telling you.
• Listen to your gut: when people seem ‘too good to be true’ in their actions and words, too friendly too soon for the circumstances, too charming, or too quick to shed tears and selfdisclose, begin to put up a protective barrier. If a little voice in your head or a feeling in your heart begins to question the veracity of a story or explanation, don’t ignore it. Ask follow on questions. If they become belligerent or defensive, begin to question your trust in the situation.
• Insert accountability: continue to be helpful, but make sure you insert some parameters that require them to take steps on their own, to take responsibility to help themselves. See if they become resistant or defensive when this shift occurs.

Bottom line, there are people like Big Roy working in organizations like yours who have become very proficient at lying to protect themselves and get their way. Hopefully, the insights from my recent ‘street education’ can be applied in your work.

Click Below to read the latest Business Journal entry!
http://www.bizjournals.com/bizjournals/bio/35592/Bruce+Roselle 

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I attended the Leadercast 2016 simulcast event this year and staffed a booth with copies of my new book, The Fraud Factor, and my previous book, Fearless Leadership (2006). This was my third year attending and hosting a booth, and this was the best year so far.

I decided to share a few key nuggets from the speakers that day, who included: Kat Cole, Nick Saban, Andy Stanley, Henry Cloud, James Brown, and Steve Wozniak. Quite an all-star cast from a wide variety of industries! The primary theme in this conference was on vision, integrity, clarity, and authenticity as a leader.

Here are the seven nuggets that stood out the most to me from the simulcast:

• Nugget I: Leadership is helping others achieve their goals, not the other way around. If you have been thinking that being a leader gives you access to people to help you achieve YOUR goals, you are missing the most important emphasis. Not that others, in achieving their goals, help you achieve yours, but the focus should be on helping them. That is, notice what they do and reinforce them in their work. Work to affect one person at a time in order to impact the whole team. Show them how what they are doing affects them, their goals, the team goals, and the overall success of the organization.
• Nugget II: There are several places you can be in your communication as a leader:
  • no connection with others
  • bad connection with others (feeling inadequate as a leader)
  • feel-good connection (feels fine, but no depth of connection, no real trust)
  • real connection (being who you truly are, surrounded by others who are genuine, in part because you have encouraged them to be so).

The most important component of real connection is to be authentically who you are, and to bring out the best, most genuine side of others. I address the importance of this nugget in my new book, The Fraud Factor, which helps the reader move from feeling inadequate to being authentic.

• Nugget III: Be generous with your time and money, since they belong to God. He provides what comes to you through your work, and He gave you the attributes and abilities in the first place. So, none of it really belongs to you. The research shows that doing the right thing ethically is always the best thing for the business in the long run. Business decisions, like all decisions, should be made on biblical principles, not on situational circumstances. Leadership should be based on clarity about who you are, and then leading from that authentic place.
• Nugget IV: Though integrity is critically important in being a leader others trust, clarity trumps integrity. When you exhibit clarity in where you are taking the team, what you expect, and how you intend to get there, the result is influence.
• Nugget V: Vision is the ‘what’ an organization is pursuing, not the ‘how’. Vision should engage the heart of others. Vision should be simple, convincing (in that it solves a problem that others recognize must be solved), and celebrated (when people get it right).
• Nugget VI: When working to make improvements as a leader, focus on those things that are small enough to change and big enough to matter. Determine the number one priority, after which all the other priorities fall into place.
• Nugget VII: As a leader, your job is to help others see what is possible, so they can buy into the vision, or help recast it in a way that engages them. Ask yourself, “If a hotshot was sitting in my seat right now, what would they change on their first day on the job?” Then ask yourself, “Why am I not making that change today?”

I hope you find these seven nuggets as provocative and insightful as I did in first hearing them. You can find more information about Leadercast at the following website:

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=leadercast+2016+architects+of+tomorrow&qs=AS&sk=I M2AS1&FORM=QBIR&pq=leadercast%202016&sc=8-15&sp=4&qs=AS&sk=IM2AS1

And information about ordering my new book, The Fraud Factor–that helps leaders move from inadequate to authentic–at Atlas Books:

 http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/05818.php

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In this last installment of a six-part Leadersynth series, we focus on how to move past your fraud feelings and get real again. These installments come directly from my new book, The Fraud Factor, now available on Amazon and through bookstores near you.

Earlier in this series, I introduced the idea that to be as effective as you can be as a leader, you must lead from the core of who you are. Your core is the essence of who you are as a person, your fundamental nucleus of unique characteristics that are consistent and enduring over time. Trying to be like someone else very different from you that you admire as a leader, or trying to minimize your key attributes because you think they are not acceptable, are recipes for leadership disaster. As hard as you might try to change your stripes and become someone very different than the person you are, it will be a very frustrating and ultimately fruitless exercise.

I first discovered this as a college freshman, walking down the street in Evanston, IL. As I walked to the library and considered my experience so far in college, it occurred to me that I did not need to be limited by my past from high school. Nobody from my graduating class had chosen Northwestern University; consequently, I had no baggage of previous impressions to limit me. Instead of being introverted and socially awkward, I could be outgoing and effervescent. Instead of being serious and studious, I could be fun-loving and unconcerned about grades. In short, I could choose to change my personality to become someone fundamentally different from the person I had been up to that point, and nobody would even know.

At the time, I smiled at the picture I had painted inside my head on the way to the library. Now, thinking back to that moment, I am not smiling so much as laughing at myself for being so naïve! The days and weeks after coming to my revelation in college showed me that, regardless of the circumstances around me and my desire for a fresh start, I remained the same at the center of my being. The characteristics, traits, and capacities that defined me did not change, for the most part. In that sense, I could not be anyone I wanted to be; I could not cut myself off from the past and create a new person from the ground up. Instead, I needed to embrace more fully the person I was at the core, and then I needed to more completely and confidently express myself as that person.

Since then, I have discovered a similar thought process in leaders I coach, especially those who are new to a position, taking on greater scope of responsibility, newly hired into an organization, or any combination of factors that makes them feel like they must be someone very different to be successful. With each of them, as with myself earlier in my life, I help them see that they are products of their past, and to get real again, they must reconnect with their: Personality, Ability, Spirit and Thinking.

As I have discovered since my musings on the way to the library, I function best in the present when I leverage my PAST. You are a product of your PAST, as well, and it is the key to your future. At your core is a combination of personality characteristics, feelings, intellectual and physical abilities, and a responsive spirit. At the center of who you are, there are also thoughts, beliefs, and opinions that you hold to be true, and that you have developed since early childhood.

Whether or not you are fully conscious of these factors at your core, they exist and they powerfully influence your behavior every day. Though it is possible in many ways to leave the past behind–through forgiving others, letting go of hurts, moving on in relationships, etc.–it is not feasible to leave your PAST behind. Wherever you go, your core personality traits, abilities, spirit, and thinking go with you. Let me describe each of these in greater detail, so that you can better understand and apply them to yourself.

Personality. Representing the first letter of the word PAST, personality (P) is a word that most people recognize. However, few agree on a definition. When people say, “she has a great personality,” or “his personality just doesn’t click with mine,” we have a vague concept of what they mean. We usually need to ask for clarification to make sure we have an unambiguous understanding of the meaning. That is due to the broad and sometimes confusing nature of the term “personality.”

The word personality comes originally from the Latin word “persona,” which refers to an individual’s identity. Personality is a dynamic and organized set of traits or characteristics that influence the way people think, feel, and behave. There is little theoretical agreement among psychologists, let alone the general population, on what personality actually is. For the purposes of your own self-analysis, think about the aspects of your personality that uniquely define you. This includes characteristics like your approach across various situations, your intensity of observable energy, your degree of self-discipline, and other “signature” qualities that are consistent and distinct in you.

Abilities. Included in this part of your PAST are your innate talents, gifts, natural physical capacity, motivated strengths, cognitive intelligence, and emotional intelligence. The primary distinction we will make here is that abilities are innate capacities, not learned ones. Certainly, people develop their abilities over time, and those that receive the most attention tend to be their strongest, most recognizable abilities. However, we draw a clear line to distinguish between knowledge and skills you develop, versus abilities, talents, or gifts you have possessed from an early age. Skills and knowledge can shift dramatically over your lifetime, but your fundamental abilities do not change much. What are your unique abilities?

Spirit. The word spirit perfectly captures the essence of what I want to convey here, yet it is an awkward and easily misunderstood term. It represents the “S” in your PAST. Most people can describe the feeling they get when their spirit is uplifted by an event or circumstance around them, just as they can describe the feeling they have when their spirit is downcast or pessimistic. Spirit is something you can feel when it is moved by events or circumstances around you, but it is difficult to put into words. Your spirit develops from a very early age—perhaps at birth or even in the womb—and grows to become an integral aspect of your core being. What events, people, activities, etc. affect your spirit?

Thinking. Unlike these first three, the thinking aspect of your core tends to change throughout life as you encounter new information and perspective that no longer can be explained or understood by your previous ways of thought. Of the four core components of a leader, thinking is the one you can consciously develop to the greatest degree. Thinking is the last letter of your PAST, and the aspect of your core that is typically most apparent to people around you.

This component includes your beliefs, values, and opinions based on your learning and experience. It includes your attitudes toward things, the way you make sense of the world, and the primary basis upon which you make decisions. Thinking includes logic and intuition, creativity and originality, common sense, and the recognition and understanding of others’ feelings and needs. In short, thinking includes any function within your core that involves thought processes.

In my coaching work with leaders at multiple levels across a wide variety of organizations, I have found that this area of thinking offers the most possibility for new growth. It is here that you can develop healthier beliefs and identify those self-limiting beliefs that undermine your effectiveness. Thinking is also the lever you can work to improve the problem solving of others. Helping people on your team think differently, consider other options, and question their own self-limiting talk can nurture their growth into more effective leaders.

Please weigh in with your thoughts on who you are at the core, and how you use this insight to stay genuine and authentic in your work and life:

https://roselleleadership.com/stay-informed/roselle-leadership-blog

And please look for The Fraud Factor at Amazon, or order it through our website:

www.roselleleadership.com

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In this fifth of a six-part Leadersynth series, we focus on how reconnecting to your core can help you move past feelings of inadequacy and move toward authenticity. These installments come directly from my new book, The Fraud Factor, to be available on Amazon later this month. The one remaining installments in this series is: Feeling like a fraud: getting real again!

So, what is your core? It is the essence of who you are as a person, your fundamental nucleus of unique characteristics that are sustained, consistent, and enduring over time. In my 30 years of coaching experience, I have never seen a set of circumstances where the best solution to a poor job fit was to attempt to change who the individual was at the core. Let me say that again, for emphasis, in a slightly different way. Changing who you are at the core is never the best way to handle a set of circumstances or personalities in your work.

The best strategy is almost always to figure out who you are as a person, and then lead confidently from that genuine foundation. We will take a deep-dive look at your core attributes in the sixth and final installment in this Leadersynth series.

The right fit. At some point, figuring out who you are at the core might lead you to a decision to find a better fit, but this is not a conclusion you should jump to right away. In situations where individuals are viewed as a poor fit in a particular position, management usually considers terminating or demoting them. If this has been an unaddressed problem for a number of years, then taking him or her out of the role might be the best solution.

Because terminating an individual for poor fit is an expensive conclusion that involves paying severance and conducting a search for another person to fill the vacated role, it should not be reached lightly. However, the emotional and financial costs of keeping someone in a role in which he or she cannot succeed are even more painful.

As we introduced earlier in this series of articles, in order to create new growth, you must experience situations, perspectives, and circumstances that challenge you, rattle your core, and perhaps require a bit of reorganization of your internal beliefs and approaches. Often, your growth as a person requires you to seek out new experiences, take on new responsibilities, get involved in cross-functional task forces, or learn new information and perspective.

Early on in these kinds of assignments that stretch you, it may not seem like the right fit at all. You might even convince yourself that you can never be successful in the existing circumstances, and that your only choice is to quit. Though you might feel this way, the best outcome in such a situation can sometimes be to stay and make it the right fit through your own growth and development.

These kinds of situations force you to adapt your approach to one that is more effective. However, to sustain such growth and make sure that the roots of your new perspective go deep, the internal brain ‘reorganization’ you experience must remain consistent with the essence/core of who you are. If the new growth and perspective is overwhelming, undermining your confidence in your fundamental attributes, the resulting destabilization you feel can unleash a long-term version of the fraud factor.

The right fit, then, is one that is consistent with your core attributes, but also forces you to stretch a bit. For most people, heading off to freshman year in college creates a degree of destabilization. Students often discover in the first several weeks that what they thought were good study habits in high school, what they assumed were beliefs and values that most people held, and how they approached making friends, are perspectives not adhered to by everyone on their dorm floor.

Other major life events like marriage, death of a loved one, or the birth of children can force people to accommodate internally in order to take into account dramatically different circumstances. The similarity across these types of events is that our internal cognitive framework cannot incorporate the new circumstances, and we must restructure our beliefs and thinking to fit. Often, these types of situations can seem overwhelming at first, and the stress we feel can undermine our effectiveness.

The answer, however, is not to seek out situations where you never experience any level of stress or arousal. Situations where you are disinterested or detached might feel relaxing on some level for some length of time, but you usually cannot generate enough energy to be highly effective in what you are doing. The key, as in the story of the three bears and Goldilocks, is to have a level of emotional arousal that is “just right.”

The sweet spot. Most people would agree that there is a level of alertness that leads to their best performance, whether in sports, artistic endeavors, public speaking, or facilitating a team discussion. If you experience a low level of attentiveness or preparedness, you might come across as rather flat in your energy level. On the other hand, if you experience an enormous level of vigilance and tension before a particular situation, your performance will suffer. Somewhere in between is your “sweet spot”.

Psychologists would call this sweet spot the optimal level of arousal. This is your apex of alertness, the place where you function with the utmost confidence and competence. Here, you are the most motivated and alert, and the fraud factor has very little effect on your successful achievement of desired outcomes. Because you function most effectively and comfortably in this sweet spot, you have a tendency to want to remain there and tap its full potential. Usually, that is a good thing and it feels like the right fit.

However, the right fit can evolve into the wrong fit over time. Sometimes you hunker down too long in this sweet spot of confidence and competence. You become complacent and stop stretching and growing. Because you experience your greatest feelings of success in your sweet spot, you tend to want to stay within these comfortable walls.

Please weigh in on our blog with your experiences with this phenomenon of feeling like a fraud: https://roselleleadership.com/stay-informed/leadersynth-articles

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In this fourth of a six-part Leadersynth series, we focus on how dramatic changes can make you believe that you are not adequate to the situation you are facing. This is the Big, Fat Lie. These installments come directly from my new book, The Fraud Factor, to be published by Leader Press in late April, 2016. This is only one month away, and pre-sales of the book are available on amazon.com right now! Following this current article, the two remaining installments in this series include these topics:

• Feeling like a fraud: who am I at the core?
• Feeling like a fraud: getting real again!

In general, what is the Big Fat Lie? It is simply the belief that you are not adequate in the situation or circumstances you face. This false belief often occurs when you face new, unfamiliar challenges that make you begin to doubt your ability to handle them. When the changed circumstances seem extremely challenging to you, and you feel overwhelmed and paralyzed, you might begin to think that everything you know is wrong and you are totally inadequate to the task (see our last post on this topic). You might start to doubt yourself and your abilities. You might even experience a level of destabilization at the core of your being.

In David’s case, for example, he experienced dissonance in his new role. When David and his manager first met with me to talk about starting a coaching relationship, several factors were clear immediately. David was an extremely bright VP who had grown up in the finance part of the high-tech manufacturing company in which he was employed. He was personable in an introverted sort of way, displaying an easy smile and a wry, somewhat random, sense of humor.

In the first meeting with David and his manager, she described him as, “someone who struggles a bit taking a strong, definitive stand in the midst of uncertainty. That is, he often seems uncomfortable going with a hunch when he doesn’t have what he feels is a sufficient amount of data to support his conclusions.” His manager indicated that the most important challenge in David’s new role was for him to influence leaders more broadly within the organization, to create the right vision and plan so that others would follow, and to empower his team to make decisions and take action. From her perspective, he needed to move more quickly to explain the core of the issues and help frame the discussion so that others could get up to speed and on board with his thinking.

For his part, David admitted that he tended to not ask for help until he was in deep water, believing thathe could “just work my way out of it.” He described himself as, “the kind of person who stubbornly refuses to admit defeat,” and who, instead, would “crank up my hard work ethic and put in more hours until I get the job done.” This behavior tended to push his team away when they could have been of the most help, and it took time away from his more important role of influencing the thinking of internal and external customers.

It also contributed to his feelings of being a fraud, because he thought that, “If I’m smart enough to be in this role, I should be able to figure out the answers without needing someone to step in and save me.” Because he could not always figure out a way to work through the problems he faced, he began to feel inadequate as a leader.

Senior management in the organization was keen to support David in his new role. They viewed him as having all the right stuff to be promoted even further, yet needing to change some fundamental ways in which he operated, as reflected in the feedback he received from his manager and his 360-degree results. After reading his feedback from others, and recognizing that he was not as successful with internal and external customers as he expected himself to be, David wondered whether, in fact, he was the right fit for his new role and responsibilities.

Identifying the lie. David and I had met a couple of times in our coaching engagement before he was comfortable enough to confide in me that he felt like a fraud in his role. He did so by sharing his version of The Big Fat Lie, “I need to be someone totally different to really be successful in this role.” His peer, Faye, was in a similar product management role, and David began to believe that he needed to fashion his approach to match Faye’s personality and style.

As David described it, “Faye comes from a marketing and sales background, so her personality is naturally much more outgoing and verbal, and way more engaging with customers than mine. She’s also extremely confident interacting with internal and external customers, with much greater finesse at casting a vision and enrolling them through her charisma.” David had tried to emulate Faye, but felt like he had failed miserably. This just underscored in his mind that he was a fraud in the role.

Despite the fact that he was chosen for the role and had been fulfilling it with relative success for nearly two years, David had somehow still harbored the lie that he was not fit to be in the role. Consequently, everything he saw about himself in the role was filtered through this Big Fat Lie, and he continually felt like a fraud, particularly when he was with clients and potential clients.

This initial conversation led to many others as David and I fleshed out what his core personality characteristics, abilities, motivations, and beliefs were, and strategized how to leverage these fundamental characteristics to maximize his effectiveness. We discovered together that he tends to be most comfortable in a role when he can act as a ‘guide’ or ‘helper’ to the people around him. I challenged him to think of ways he could shift his approach in his current role so that he could function primarily as a guide or helper with his team and his customers. He began to shift his approach to fit his core style, and began to experience success with his team and clients.

The problem for David–and for you–is that the Big Fat Lie, while it seems to explain things on some level, also acts in a self-fulfilling way to inhibit your effectiveness. The misperception that you must act differently than whom you are at the core undermines your ability to be successful. To what extent has a Big, Fat Lie limited your success in your career? What lie do you believe right now about yourself that makes it difficult for you to be completely effective in your work?

Please weigh in on our blog with your own experiences with this phenomenon of feeling like a fraud:

https://roselleleadership.com/stay-informed/leadersynth-articles

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